Feed Store Girl

The Light Came On!

2012-01-05T11:53:00.001-07:00

Short but useful post for those raising feathered friends in the dark of northern winter. My hens, since October had not laid ONE egg. They had molted, clucked, grown up, grown out. They received lots of feed and love, but nothing was comin' our way. I consulted a local hen-raiser extraordinaire (she actually trains her hens to load up in the truck after a day on the range!) here in the feed store one day.

She asked gently, had I:
-given them plenty of feed full of protein, phosphorus and calcium,
-given them plenty of fresh water daily,
-given them alfalfa hay,
-let them out to graze,
-made sure there were no pests, or sickness...

CHECK.CHECK.CHECK.CHECK. CHECK.

I was feeling good, but discouraged. What was left? Was I stuck with a bunch of retirees, (we have a no-kill policy at our house, also known affectionately as "Jake's Chicken Spa")? Did I get a bunch of cross-dressing roosters? I needed eggs! I needed the high-standing, deep-colored, tasty eggs!

Then, she asked about a light. Why yes, I have a red light on in the coop.

Ah! White light, she says, you need a white light!

I had I left the red light in the lamp from when they were chicks and it was TOO calming. They needed 12 hours of bright, white light. Within 48 hours, I had six eggs and six eggs a day since!

We are saved! Rather, THEY are saved!

Falling Off the Wagon and Into the Apple Cart

2011-12-24T10:53:00.006-07:00

My father used to tell my mother, "If you want something done, give it to a busy person." The implied meaning was that often, movers and shakers have disciplined their time to get things done...add another event or project and it will merely be incorporated into the plan of action; no qualms, quivers, or hesitations.

I have two thoughts on this. One, yes. Two, no.

Yes, please give it to them! People who are effective multi-taskers do have systems and schedules, rapidly evolving priority lists and deadlines. For the most part, they deliver the goods as promised. Our society makes champions of these people and builds devices to sell to them to get more and more into their schedule. On the flip side, science is now showing us that such a pace is hard on the brain and body entire and prone to burn out these capabilities over time. They're encouraging us to do less and breathe more...for everyone's sake.

No, please find someone who is less-engaged! People who are effective multi-taskers often take on, or are asked to take on many interesting pursuits. At some point, the house of cards begins to crack under such continuous demands, if even implied. For example, have you ever gone up to a super-capable person and just said, "You do so much, we'd love it if you would just be a bystander for our next event." No! Why waste such talent?! Don't let them leave without signing up to bake cookies, sell tickets, show up for vocal practice, wire the sound system, or set up the gallery for the gala! Soon these cherished citizens make themselves scarce, fearing a commitment-request lurking about every corner and social engagement OR become very actively embittered. And conversely, by relying on few, many are left without meaningful connections or tasks.

We all have choices and the capabilities to say yes and no. In this last quarter of the year, I found myself in a self-induced contradiction. I declined an elected board position, twice. Then promptly signed up to bake brownies for a fundraiser, perform a small skit each Sunday of Advent, cashier at another fundraiser, host a holiday two parties, and then JOIN a new company while keeping my day job. I just can't quit saying yes and no.

What I've discovered is that a diversity of pursuits is what keeps life interesting. Being overwhelmed kills my zest for life and enjoyment of people. Now a year into family life, I have been challenged by my peers and worthy causes, family and myself: What defines a worthy pursuit? Further, what do my pursuits require of those around me?

As a practicing Christian, my life is guided my these two principals: Love God. Love others. Anything that gets in the way of these two things, simply must go. The dilemma I have faced is that worthy causes don't seem to tread here...taking care of others honors God. I can't say no.

In taking care of "others" so much, I have risked neglecting those closest to me. I can't say yes, but moreover, I began to understand a more basic tension I didn't see before.

I am now looking at a collective sum: the things I choose must reflect the priorities and needs of a FAMILY, not just myself. "Of course", you say, but I am late coming to this realization because for 18 years of my life, I only had to reflect upon a SOLO frame of reference. Presently, I have FIVE sets of needs, love languages, wants, talents, priorities, and schedules. How do I model consideration and sacrifice, if I"m still on the solo track? It really is a growing and challenging experience for me, this family life!

As we close this year, I find that I am less on the community "band wagon" and more in my family orchard, gathering life-fruits into our "cart". The gifts I am placing on that cart for my family, as we celebrate things "given" this time of year are:
a stronger focus on hospitality and less on entertaining; more outings and less projects; fewer evening commitments and more snuggling; fewer "things" (yes that means helping me sort!) and more relationships (that means helping me invite people over!), more voicing my desire to have you "join me doing 'x'" and less frustration leaving for an event, solo.

May your cart, dear reader, overflow with true essentials this next year.

Happy Christmas to all and have a healthy new year!

A Sunday at My House

2011-10-24T10:21:00.005-06:00

Many parents approach Sundays with a certain amount of trepidation. It's usually the day that the children drop bombs such as "I need a dozen cookies", "My science project is due", or "I need my uniform". With a few deep breaths, then, we commence gathering resources to save our little charge from whichever impending doom threatens their existence.

For my household, our "bomb" arrived with a twist of delight. Saturday afternoon, just after learning how to make incredible apple pies, I got an excited call from my husband, "our son got his bull elk". We both laughed. It was opening day of rifle season and our eldest son had gone hunting alone in the area from which his father and grandfather had pulled many animals. We were delighted that he had demonstrated great skill and safety and that our freezer would soon be full. We were also anxious about what that meant for our immediate family schedule.

Soon enough it was clear that at least a half of a day needed to be set aside to collect horses, travel to the mountains and ride/hike in to the kill site. Normally, I just pack lunches and make a hearty dinner for the retrievers' return, but on this day, I was asked along.

Four-thirty is an especially early hour for me, a night owl. It was raining lightly besides...all good reasons to politely refuse the journey and crawl deeper under the down comforter. It was his FIRST solo hunt, however, and more hands would make light work, so... I downed my coffee while making breakfast burritos, packing sandwiches, fruit, and water.We drove off into the dark,horses in tow, clouds just lifting to show a blanket of stars and a crescent moon.

Rumbling to the trailhead, we quickly unloaded the horses and put on our bright orange vests. Heading up through aspen groves, over hills, and into the pines, daylight began to break. Our son was on foot, and well-ahead of us with the dog, so full of excitement and adrenaline!

We reached a too-steep point and I agreed to sit with the horses. It had continued to spit rain, so I was glad to have the opportunity to dry out in the new sunlight and to read quietly while they relocated the carcass. An HOUR later, they had looped around and were 100 yards from me! The bad news was that the goose-chase across the mountain had put my husband in a less than pristine mood for butchering. The great news was that we could get the meat loaded right on the horses and wouldn't have to drag anything out.

For the next couple of hours, butchering and loading commenced. As is often the case, spit spat between father and son peppered the activity (as anyone with a nearly 18 year old might appreciate). I am a sensitive soul, so you can imagine the emotional stress I incurred listening to the banter while helping ready the quarters (I am not a hunter, so blood and bone can be intimidating). We managed to take a break to eat our meager pb&j and talk about the landscape and great hunts past.

We led the horses out, a six on six rack proudly atop the load, talking with each hunting party we met. The sun, now having fully chased the clouds away, shone brightly on golden aspen groves, orange birch, and fragrant pine. Footing was slick, so what might have been a quick descent was slow and arduous, but with light hearts, it didn't seem too painful.

We rolled into the check station at four in the afternoon, a MERE 10 hours since we had first passed it in the early hours. As the biologist measured the various characteristics and interviewed our proud hunter, I felt as if I could crawl under the pickup and fall asleep, dead. I was hungry, (we should have packed at least two meals) tired, sore, and needing to get off my feet. I don't think I've seen a wider grin on my son or husband.

Even as I write, I can feel all the major muscle groups in my body. It is that feeling of accomplishment, however that keeps me smiling and not whining. Our son demonstrated that he, however imperfectly, can provide for himself. It is a proud, albeit Sunday, moment.

It Happened One Day in Montana: A hunting story.

2011-10-15T09:55:00.002-06:00

I had heard this story each fall, but finally had a "from the horse's mouth" retelling this past week.

"One year, not too many years before my dad died, he packed into our usual hunting camp, back in the Rocky mountains. It was a popular area with nice meadows providing shelter and game to private hunters, hunting parties and outfitters.The area looked like a small village at night with all the lanterns and fires politely spaced across the mountain side.

Dad always liked to drink in camp. Most men do and we joined him for beverages and story-telling. Next morning would be opening day for elk season, so everyone turned in for the night.

The next morning, before the sun had cracked the horizon, the whole meadow was suddenly jolted from their beds by the sounds of gunfire going off like mad. Except it wasn't gunfire. It was dad, standing at the edge of camp, lighting off fireworks and having a great, intoxicated chuckle.

Naturally, the elk were gone for the day, thanks to his untimely prank. Nearby hunters and outfitters promptly made it clear, as they showed up in camp, there was to be no more folly. This was serious business (as he well knew).

The day came and went and sure enough, next morning, Bang! Pow! Bang! and everyone knew, it was NOT gunfire claiming the first trophies of the season. Despite his pure thrill, the hunters scrambled up to our camp. They were HOT and news somehow made it to the flats in a hurry. Rumors flew of gunfights and exchanged blows...things were escalating in a hurry.

Later that afternoon, riding up the trail came three law enforcement: the county sheriff, forest service law enforcement, and the game warden. They set up below my dad's camp and called out, 'Herbie, come out with your hands up!'"

****

That sort of mischief has never visited the mountains since, but every year, it visits our little round table in lore. We remember a former community member and the memories he left for us to enjoy over our morning coffee as we slip on another layer of clothing and greet the new season.

The Nicest Compliment

2011-10-07T10:56:00.003-06:00

I was speaking to an elite urban gentleman who happened to be drinking our humble feed store coffee. The dredges, really, at four in the afternoon. (He had some class to drink that and not frown!) When I mean elite, I feel qualified to say that a leer jet and personal driver put a person in that category. Further,if that driver and jet land in my tiny-no-where town, it makes it an exceptional occasion, and his being in my store a bit of a curiosity. Starch is not enough to impress me, so I was anxious to see if a conversation would ensue.

He smiled as he poured his coffee. He glanced at the assorted empty chairs around the little table and asked what happened in this place. I talked about the "round table" and it's regulars that appear usually, twice a day.I talked about hot topics at the round table which included predator management. When he pressed further, I gave him a short lecture on wildlife management in relationship to agriculture. He found it hard to believe that wolves roamed the hills and bears wandered through town, but I assured him, it was a real part of our lives.I did not give a speech of note, but it was all clearly, new to him.

He paused a moment and then said, "You're not from a round here are you?"

I laughed and described that most definitely this was my hometown. I had a bit of a leave of absence where I traveled and went to university, completed relief work, and helped farmers on several continents.

His compliment then followed, "You can't hide that."

I laughed and said, "So you weren't fooled by my jeans and work shirt?!"

He then continued to tell me that he works with a lot of rural folks around the country and that it was refreshing to have an articulate conversation in a small town.

I replied, "Well, I'm a credit to my people, then!".

As I thought about the conversation in the days hence, I still feel that way. I feel that my experiences in Choteau, Montana, as a young person, were significant. They have set me on a foundation. Whether someone taught me, gave me some work, bought the goods I was selling on a particular day (FFA fruit sales come to mind!), hired me, entrusted me with their kids, or fixed my bicycle tire for free...all of these things gave me a foundation and framework to build upon for the remainder of my days.

Anything on top of that, no matter how large or fantastic, is really still resting on that base. It's a good reminder of how important my job is as a parent, mentor, and friend to the young people in my life. (Okay, so God thought of the whole foundation thing first, I just extrapolated a bit!)

Book #6: Where River Turns to Sky

2011-09-09T11:23:00.001-06:00

I was not sure what to think of Gregg Kleiner's novel as the setting opened up in a nursing home. Was this going to be depressing? Dreadful? Guilt-inducing?None of the above, contrary to my first apprehension!A quaint, hilarious and moving novel about aging and dying in "your own way", it was a great way to end my summer reading program.

Meandering Thoughts on the Prairie: Weekend in the Mountains

2011-08-25T09:33:00.003-06:00

The school year always seems to begin too soon, no matter the date. As our family's last farewell to summer, we headed into the mountains near Glacier Park to camp and work and play.

August is not my favorite time of year in the mountains. I find the heat stifling and the amount of pitch and dirt attached to my body and clothes nearly unbearable. If there's forest fires it seems to intensify all of the above. Add some hard labor,( cutting and loading three cords of firewood), a couple of teen-aged siblings, and some hard ground to sleep upon and you've got a pretty crabby lady. That's the worst of it.

The best parts are unique and varied.There is a mountain spring near the camp, gushing mineral-rich, ice-cold water to pour over my head and into my body. The culverts flowing with spring-water beneath the dirt roads with afternoon coolness let the "boys" slide through and splash into deep water to keep a sense of balance in our days. The campfire roars largely to cook marshmallows and hot dogs, hot chocolate and coffee. The night is Milky Way blanket that tucks us in. It is unusually silent. Deer step quietly through our camp.

My personal delight this year, was in the berry picking. In my 36 years on the planet, I had only ever harvested a few raspberries and strawberries and chokecherries in the mountains. A few, not even a handful, I'd say. On this particular trip, my fancy was struck, not with the huckleberries on low bushes beneath the trees (I picked six exactly), but with two I had never seen before.

The awe in which I looked upon a glorious thimble berry, I have not had since childhood. These berries are a fairy-tale ruby red and plush. They emerge at the tops of their plants, above the plate-sized leaves. Their sweetness is bright, not sugary and has a hint of prunes and cedar. They look like a half-of a raspberry and must be a cousin as I stepped on the canes of last year's growth while grooming the plants. I fell in love with their brilliance both in the ease with which to spot them AND the fact that in each cluster of four or five berries, only one was ripe, therefore leaving a long season of picking for two and four-leggeds alike!

The delight continued when the boys discovered currant bushes burdened with large clusters of perfectly ripe fruits. We even found more on our way home...what a treasure trove!

As Sunday began to leave us, we packed up and headed toward the plains again. A mandatory stop at a tiny grill (which I remember eating at when I was just a wee one) to refresh with burgers and milkshakes gave our bodies some reprieve for their labors.

Summer is drawing to a close, but canning has just begun!

Book 5: Live What You Love, Notes from an Unusual Life

2011-08-25T09:20:00.004-06:00

In the midst of reading new books this summer, I had to return to an old favorite. Written by Belinda and Bob Blanchard as a follow-on to their "A Trip to the Beach" best-seller, it is one of my most ragged-eared books.

These daring husband and wife entrepreneurs scare me to bits. They live boldly in the direction of their dreams and make a living at it (or go broke), but never at the same thing twice! In their opening letter to the reader, they write, "This unusual little book is a passionate manifesto: truly living what you love is a revolutionary act, a rebellion against the common and "usual" life."

It is written in small chapter or piece morsels, so the reader can pick it up and read any portion in a short while.If you're more like me...just take the whole thing in large gulps. Unlike some of the other "dreamer" books, I find they are the first to tie everything back to practicality, the "Big 4: passion, people, environment, and money". While it sounds like a buzz-kill, they have practiced their lives in just such ways with amazing results.

If you haven't had an encouraging summer read, pick this one up today! It has large print and pictures, too!

Meandering Thoughts on the Prairie: Harvest

2011-08-17T09:03:00.003-06:00

It's August in Montana. Translation: it's forest fire and harvest season here in the wild west. Thankfully, due to large precipitation loads in the mountains this year, the fires are not at full rage. We can smell smoke some mornings, but nothing clouds the view to the west, yet.

Harvest, none-the-less, is in full swing. Winter wheat fields, swathed and combined night and day, are just strips of golden stubble. Spring wheat is releasing its last shades of green, and vegetables are piled high at farmers markets. Huckleberries, cherries, raspberries, blackberries, and empty Ball jars crowd household counter tops.

Grain harvesting signals the "frenzy". Under threat of a looming end to summer, children kick into high gear, quickly completing all their summer wish lists. Parents pile up school supplies and look at their summer wish lists that will probably roll over to next year with a sigh. Hornets and horse flies seem to bite and sting with regularity, geese begin to gather, and the blue jays are back for some seeds. Creeks begin to dry up, reservoirs drain their last nourishment into fields of second-cutting hay, and houseflies seem to come out of every surface.

Even under midnight "dry" lightning storms, the ground air thick with chaff like fog, custom cutters move quickly in line to save the grain from moisture. The scene is spectacular: big, bold strobe lights in the black sky over tiny little lights moving through the fields. Everywhere, the smell of hot wheat fills the air.

Meandering Thoughts on the Prairie: Marathon Morning

2011-08-15T09:48:00.003-06:00

Rarely do I rise before the sun. On this particular morning, however, I was in charge of Aide Station #7 on the Grizzly Marathon path (http://www.grizzlymarathon.com). In its 10th anniversary, my team could not be late to set up my sports drinks, water, and Hammer Gel.

Having gulped down an instant breakfast and made coffee, I roused my 13-year-old assistant, fed him an egg sandwich and headed off into the dark. Down a gravel road, across a river, and up onto the plains that lie below the Rocky Mountains we went bumping along in our family special, "the blue corvette" (imagine rather, a Chevrolet caprice station wagon that has been kicked by a horse once, hit by a deer twice and has a raceway rumble to its emissions).

In the dark, mind you, it is very difficult to find your station number, spray-painted on the side of the road. Fortunately, we had a port-a-potty to mark our spot as well. Of course for "safety", it was 100 feet off of the road behind a barbed wire gate, but if we missed that we had two cattle troughs further up the road to help us eyeball our mark.

We drug the gate open and repositioned the car, filled cups and began munching on our prepackaged cinnamon rolls. Within minutes, the first half-marathon runner, just at daybreak, crested the hill. We clumsily handed off water, spilling most of it down our arms. Ah well, it would get better.

We passed most of the time between 6am and 10.30am reorganizing cups, watching a ground squirrel harvest grass, and talking with runners. It was quite extraordinary; the runners would slow down and talk with us while taking refreshment. As we huddled in our sweatshirts, they stripped layers and threw them in the car.

A lot of our time was, however (with less than 200 runners in the race), spent visiting and watching the day open. I cannot deny that a more spectacular view can be had on a summer morning. The towering Rockies keeping vigil over the tumbling foothills that roll onto the lush range is a sight to behold at sunrise, no matter how long you've lived here.

True to the race's name, we had our visitor. At first glance a runner and I spied a four-legged coming across the hill towards our spot. It was facing us, so I thought it looked like a badger. While I probably need to check my eyeglasses prescription, I did not realize that the GRIZZLY bear was just far away, not small!

He was a good bear, probably 3 years old. Running, digging, standing up and looking at us (what creature wouldn't stare at the beholden sight of the blue corvette?!),he made his way across the field and over the race course. Soon the "chasers" arrived, two young men on four-wheelers in charge of course safety, to make sure that the young bear moved along, which he did.

Book #4: What the Body Remembers

2011-08-11T09:16:00.005-06:00

I knew I was ignorant about a lot of the world's history, but this book blew me away.

Set in pre-partition India (I do NOT remember even being taught about the partition save for Rushdie's Midnight's Children), Shauna Singh Baldwin describes the places, food, ethnic groups, spiritual factions, and politics surrounding two co-wives and their prominent husband, an irrigation specialist in the Punjab region.

The imagery is vivid and the perspectives personal and gripping. The author did well to have the main characters share their own voice, each in time. Faith (I had no idea what a Sikh believed), tradition, modesty, "face", birth order, locale, gender, caste, and British Empire oversight weave a rich tapestry around these characters.

(In an interesting twist of my own opinion, I am now very skeptical of Mr. Ghandi for reasons I hope you'll find intriguing in the book!)

I wish history books were written in similar fashion and I expect in the near future we may read something similar out of Afghanastan.

Book #3: LAMB The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Friend

2011-07-22T16:52:00.003-06:00

1. My sister-in-law gave this to me because she didn't get it read for her book club in Reno. 2. It's fiction, so if you think that the Satanic Verses or DaVinci Code or similar works are blasphemy, you will not enjoy this at all. 3. The author, Christopher Moore, did his homework. He doesn't miss an opportunity for imagination or punchline. He developed a very clever character in Biff the best friend, albeit one a bit over-sexed.

I was hooked immediately with the the opening paragraphs describing "Josh" (short for Yeshua) practicing re-animation with a lizard at the water well. Biff describes how Josh's younger brother plays with a lizard, smashes its head until death then hands it to his older brother. Josh puts it in his mouth and viola, it's alive again (to which best friend Biff yells to the inattentive mothers, "unclean! unclean!").

Imagining all the years between 2 and 32 in Jesus' life is not small feat and Moore conjures up an elaborate set of events, primarily surrounding some of the Messiah's first worshippers. My hat is off to him in this respect.

While some parts were tedious, others very witty, and some too graphic for my taste, in the end, it was a touching tale.

If you've got the stomach for it, give it a try!

Book #2: The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role

2011-07-19T17:16:00.004-06:00

This 454 page "manual" was recommended to me by a personal friend when I married and joined my very single and independent life to that of a husband and three kids, ages 18, 16, and 12. She said with a smile and a hug, "it will save your life." Quizzically, I took her advice. I didn't think it would help me much as I was marrying a very loving man with very good kids. Good thing friends know enough to see the road ahead. :-)

Written by two stepmothers that conducted 95 personal interviews with other step-mothers, it has a wide based of experience from 20-somethings to retirees sharing their personal experience with blended families of any and all varieties and socio-economic statuses.

I had never envisioned being a "stepmom" in my life, just "mom", so one of the opening paragraphs got my attention directly about what I may not be observing so keenly around me: "We knew about the stepmothers in our books of fairy tales. They were the reason we begged our mothers to leave a night-light on. We knew they were ugly and evil and without feeling for other living things. We knew they had no fashion sense. Few of us probably knew any in real life, and we hoped they would never be any in our own lives."

The book continues on, describing experiences that were anything but unique. That's the terrific part. Many of the development stages in step-family life are predictable, to varying extremes, but predictable. Topics from self-awareness to marriage, current or future children to the wider parenting circle, holidays and weddings, finances and legal items to check, the book is an invaluable tool in thinking through step-family life.

For those of my readers thinking, "so what's the big deal about step-families, families are families!", let me give one example in my life that I also discovered in the book. Someone calls the female head of household for a dinner invite. The female talks to her husband to see when dinner with another family is possible. He gives her a range of dates. The husband then calls his ex-wife to see when the children are available for a free evening. She says she'll get back to him. The husband then calls the children (yea cell phones!), each individually, to check their calendars. He gets three rough dates from which to work, none of which fit his dates of availability. He then calls the ex-wife to see if there are any other dates. She looks ahead 3 weeks, 6 weeks...ah maybe next Wednesday will work if she releases the children from her pending engagement. The husband then calls the children back, individually, to confirm. If everything is a-okay...then I get the message of a date that works. And that's only if it works with my schedule and the family who extended the invite. This may take from 3-5 DAYS to accomplish. No kidding. And that's fast for us.

So, I've had to adjust my time-frame for planning. But what about financial obligations? Holiday priorities? Honeymoon? Date nights? Family traditions? Co-parenting with two other parents, outside your home and influence, most often whom have different life values? What if you have children from a previous marriage or want to conceive, foster, or adopt? What are your legal rights as a person, wage-earner, or survivor? Lots and lots of stuff....that's just great to think about, even if it doesn't fit a particular current situation.

I don't know that it has saved my life, but on tough days, it has saved my perspective. My step-children have been very open-hearted towards me and I have a good relationship with their mother. Their father is a good father and husband and I feel very loved. It is still a very complicated and hard path in each week.

I will be keeping this book in my reference section.

Old Time Remedies #1: Hole in the Radiator

2011-07-16T12:06:00.002-06:00

One gentleman was describing his father's technique for plugging holes in a farm pickup radiator. I'm guessing this was pre-1970 at least. His father relayed, "Son, you just find some good, dry horse manure and crumble it in...plugs up right quick!".

Time at the Feed Store: Priceless.

2011-07-07T08:35:00.003-06:00

Chicken layer crumbles, 50 pounds, $15.50.
Black oil sunflower seed, 25 pounds, $18.
Barn cat food, 40 pounds, $25.
Pinlock offset insulators, $15.25/bag.
MuckBoots, $95.
Western Range Mineral, 50 pounds, $27.
Deer Out spray, $15.
Coffee, free.
Time at the feed store, priceless.

As I approach my third anniversary here at the counter of Front Range Supply, I have come to realize that much of my job lies OUTSIDE of retail. Away from ordering, inventory, bean-counting, trouble-shooting, making coffee,dusting shelves, weeding gardens, mopping the floors, loading feedbags, hauling salt, or stacking twine bales, lies my most important job: I am a person in a place that serves as a community conduit.

I am in the place where people pause after breaking news: life, death, and near-misses are all relayed here. Surprisingly candid conversations about marriage, parenting, divorce, separation, custody, finance, and local history are all had here. I am the voice on the phone for directions, wrong numbers, recommendations and quite often, locating a person (most often a husband) who is missing in action at the moment.

I stand near the coffee table, affectionately known as "the round table", where matters of calving illness, cereal crop pests, spirituality, politics, and ALWAYS the weather, are discussed. It is a most cordial environment when two long-opposed individuals, rather than argue, just sit side by side and ignore each other, one quietly taking his leave after a bit.

It is on our front sidewalk that children make chalk drawings and women watch our flower and vegetable plots with anticipation of what colors and foods will emerge this late summer. Dogs on their daily walk stop for a treat and walkers pop in to use the facilities or take a breather.

It is in the creek that runs along side of the property where ducks nest and water-lovers swim, float, fish, wade, and picnic. Truly life flows in this place.

"Clerk" is a word that both over-describes and under-describes my occupation. My job is more than a paycheck and less than a career, but it has been thus far, a wonderful way to use my education, my passion, and to keep my extroverted self, fully satiated.

Book #1: Outwitting Squirrels, Second Edition

2011-07-06T13:28:00.002-06:00

The sub-title, by Bill Adler, Jr., aptly gives the plot away: "101 Cunning Stratagems to Reduce Dramatically the Egregious Misappropriation of Seed from Your Bird feeder by Squirrels." It could, quite aptly, also describe a lot of taxpayer sentiment towards their representation in D.C. THAT book has not hit the bookshelves however, and I shall keep my comments to the former.

Firstly, the book was a freebie at a garage sale here in town. I had nothing to lose on a bad read, so I was pleasantly surprised at my amusement in the reading. I knew nothing of squirrel behavior and probably would classify myself as an amused observer of all squirrel antics. (I have, and there are photos to prove it--gasp--, inadvertently fed a chipmunk in a national park.) Since I live in a home surrounded by fruit and softwood trees, however, I find myself really loving the songs of the day that come from the branches. Additionally, the development of a woodpecker family next just near the front porch had piqued my interest in feed some additional delights to enhance the accommodations of my feathered neighbors.

Secondly, it is equal parts laughter and science. On the laughter side, Chapter 8 lists among the 101 Stratagems, "Dig a moat around your feeder. Fill it with piranha" and conversely, "Employ patent #4637164 for a squirrel guard by inventor Harold O. Brown." On the science side, or rather scientific method side, Chapter 5 rates the top "squirrel proof" feeders on the market.

Filled with anecdotal remedies such as Teflon spray to coat wires and poles to just providing a feeder FOR squirrels as they are just plain lazy and will fall for an easy diversion, it is a good read on man vs. nature.

I will have a 3 star rating for this summer reading program. I give it 2 stars.

Summer Challenge: Six Books and Summer Reading

2011-06-08T14:40:00.003-06:00

“Studies suggest that children who read as few as six books over the summer maintain the level of reading skills they achieved during the preceding school year. Reading more books leads to even greater success.” - Allington, Richard L. and McGill-Franzen, Anne. “Bridging the Summer Reading Gap,” Scholastic Instructor (2003, May/June)."

Children model what they see, so I am challenging myself and anyone reading this to read SIX books in the next 90 days. They don't have to be classics, 2 inches thick, or an "Oprah" pick. Read something that intrigues you, relaxes you, instructs you, or entertains.

Additionally, I am volunteering to introduce children to West Africa at our local library story hour. I challenge my readers to find a similar outlet. Show kids we're excited about the world of words and what we can learn!

You'll earn bonus points if you get a child in your life,( children, step-children,nieces, nephews, cousins,and neighbors all count), to read six books--hopefully more!

I'll keep you posted on my reading list and I am excited to learn about what you're reading. Remember to use your public libraries and inter-library loans so that it costs you nothing to "see the world". Additionally, you can download, for FREE, audio books and Nook books at most Montana public libraries (Kindle to follow suit later this fall).

Keep me posted!

Week 15: To Infinity and Beyond

2011-06-07T09:51:00.003-06:00

Yes, I skipped week 14, mostly because the few hours of sunshine each day between rain showers, has called my name loudly.

We will bring all "official" events to a close this week. Done are lectures, little blue books, and mandatory fitness classes. And just in time...I think I must have a 16 week attention span for this sort of thing, or else university studies warped my attention span to fit in tidy 16 week segments.

Once per month, until November, we'll still gather to weigh and compare notes. This is, after all a lifestyle program...what can we CONTINUE to do from here on out? I was reminded of this when a friend recently told me of his weight loss program. He is very happy with the amount of weight he's lost, but he's hating life. No this. No that. The joy has left him, and I predict, soon this fabulous plan will follow.

It is still hard to listen to "fast loss" programs. I'd love to be in a different jean size in 6 weeks, but I'd also not like to be back to square one in 12 weeks. I'd much rather stay under the blankets, out of the rain, and lacking a few layers of clothing as opposed to hitting the pavement, trail, or pool. But, I'd also rather stay off of blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds, and away from insulin needles.

Instead, I choose moderation. I get moving most days rather than just being a weekend warrior. I cook more vegetables rather than less. I find substitutes so that food keeps its appeal for me and the family. I drink more water and less soda, eat more salads and fewer french fries, read more labels and stopped assuming so much about the food in my world,(the food industry is NOT interested in your health!). I do enjoy eggs and bacon on quiet Sunday mornings, and slice homemade pie smaller but skip the a la mode. Who is to say what's fashionable anyway?

I feel good in my skin and I find I have more energy for the tasks of the day. I've had to retrain my "stress-response" which is usually sleep, or immobility and just walk instead. This has been hard, but I find that I have more company these days: friends, husband, kids, or dog...turns out everyone likes a walk!

The most important aspects of this program for me have been:
--thinking critically and long term about movement,
--thinking critically and holistically about food intake,
--thinking critically about my decisions and how they influence my family,and
--increased my desire for long-term health and vitality.

Thank you for sharing the journey of "beginnings". I hope you've considered making choices that will positively impact the long-term goals of your life.

Week 13: Let Them Eat Cake!

2011-05-18T14:29:00.002-06:00

We are 2/3 the way through the learning experience of lifestyle change: 12 weeks of class, 8 weeks of intentional movement, 12 weeks of documenting our intake. We have sorted cupboards, taken to writing notes to ourselves when dining out, and in general lost weight, become more flexible, and gained confidence in our new direction.

(A fun fact: for all the people in the cohort, those who have written down every morsel of intake, they have achieved a median weight loss of 10 pounds; for those who have opted out of the food diary, a mere 1.5 pounds.)

In the next 1/3 of our time in class, we are focusing our efforts on life "from here on out". How will we stay motivated? What will be our challenges? Where will we seek support and information?

The question for me is, how will I continue to find creative and flavorful ways to feed my family? This is particularly challenging on the dessert side of life: we really enjoy a sweet treat and we adore the flavor of chocolate!

I have tried many "diet" desserts in life. Many have failed the palatability test, save for whole fruit sorbets. I discovered an online site CookEatShare and decided to give a double chocolate cake recipe a try. I LOVE it! It is chocolate beyond chocolate, moist and beautiful! I share it here with a few of my "tweaks". If prepared in a 9 X 13 pan, cut into 12 pieces for 3-5 GRAMS of fat per serving, depending on how low of a "light" margarine you can find.

1. Preheat oven to 350.

2. Using nonstick spray, grease the pan, then flour with cocoa powder.

3. Combine dry ingredients:
-1 1/2 cup sugar
-1 3/4 cup flour (I used whole wheat pastry flour)
-3/4 cocoa powder
-1 1/2 tsp baking soda
-1 1/2 tsp baking powder

4. Add to the dry ingredients, one at a time and mix for 2 minutes:
-3 eggs (they called for 4 egg whites, but we raise our own eggs and I had no plans for the yolks, otherwise)
-1 cup skim milk
-1/2 cup applesauce, no sugar
-2tsp vanilla

5. Add one cup boiling water and mix thoroughly.

6. Pour into pan and bake 45-60 minutes (their recipe said 35-40, but I still had soup), or until knife inserted in middle comes out clean. Cool completely.

7. For the frosting cream together:
-4 TBSP light margarine (I used Brummel and Brown with yogurt)
-2 TBSP plain nonfat yogurt
-Mix together 1/2 cup cocoa and 2 cups powdered sugar and then add slowly to the creamed butter and yogurt ( I use a mixer, so this is easy).
-Add 3 TBSP skim milk and 2 tsp vanilla until reaching desired consistency.

Frost happily. Enjoy the fact that you can have your cake and eat it too with a glass of ice cold fat free soy, milk, coconut, or other choice of "wash it down goodness". Share abundantly! Serves 12.

Meanwhile Back In the Garden...An Early Start

2011-05-10T09:44:00.002-06:00

Spring is trying to get its engine started here in the north country. The winter wheat has risen a few inches, the rain is puddling and the trees are budding. One small, teensy-weensy complication has arisen is that the temperatures have failed to rise and frost was on my windshield just this morning.

Hence, Plan B. I attended a community gardening clinic in recent weeks. Topics from soil texturing to vegetable cultivars, preservation to planning a plot, composting to making your own soil base were covered. My favorite tidbit involved recycling berry containers: the plastic or paper mache' variety that carry supermarket goodness.

Here in the feed store we have stunning picture windows that face south and east, maximizing daily sunshine exposure. Usually we complain about the heat and brightness, but this year, we decided to make it work for us.

Using the berry containers, I mixed up Mel's Mix, (wetted equal parts compost, vermiculite, and peat moss), and filled the containers. Next we selected vegetables that we knew we'd eat: tomatoes, basil, cucumbers, radishes, onions, and sweet peas for pretty. Each morning we spray them with a spray bottle of water. If we have saved the tops of the berry containers, we put them on for extra heat and water trapping, if not, they have the open air.

We have all plastic containers, but if you are using the paperboard boxes, you have the added bonus of not disturbing the roots when transplanting: just pop the box, plant and all, into the ground. BE SURE TO COVER COMPLETELY with soil, otherwise the cardboard will wick water AWAY from the plant.

To date, we have 12 tomtato sprouts, 6 cucumber, 13 radishes, two sweet peas, and an onion. (With the onions I'm just trying to grow green ones, not full-sized.)

Hoping that gardening will stay on track this year...we'll keep you posted on the "window view".

Week 11: Part Two, The Mother In Law Test

2011-05-09T15:33:00.002-06:00

A short but sweet moment this week was when my mother-in-law, offering to cook dinner on Mother's Day, asked if I would please bring the mashed potatoes. As in the mashed potatoes that I had anguished over at Easter, full of good things like salt, and pepper, and low-fat sour cream, sans the stick of yellow-rich butter. Those potatoes.

They were simply delicious, like none other, said she. I felt both honored and relieved. Honored that my food would join hers at the dinner table and relieved that my slight of hand, thought by me to be less than perfect, was now a family preference.

I'll take victories, however small!

Week 11: Re-framing and Breathing

2011-05-06T15:14:00.003-06:00

Coming off of the season of Lent in which I had been reflecting on "forgiveness" and "reconciliation", I was none too astonished that the theme would continue from my introspective life and into my health classes. When it rains, it pours, no?

Mind you, it was no sermon, but a practical look at our dynamics, in human bodies and brains, that alternate between rousing the senses and body and restoring the rhythm, flow, and healing.

Most Americans, big surprise, function highly on the sympathetic side. This is the high stress, high movement, lots of worrying, lots of adrenaline side of our lives. All the stimulation leaves us primarily imbalanced, but also prone to cycles of the aforementioned; as in, the more you stress, the more likely you are to stress.

On the parasympathetic side of our system, is the yang to sympathetic's yin. This is the restorative sleep, no panic-attack, good growth and healing side to our lives. This is the "take a deep breath" side. This is where we "let go".

Turns out this yin and yang in our bodies carries over into our emotional lives and gives us choices. If someone cuts us off in traffic, we can REACT (thoughtlessly and instantaneously)by giving a half of a peace sign, swearing under our breath or retaliating with a deft NASCAR crash move. Conversely, we can RESPOND (thoughtfully and with delay)and say, "wow, they must need to be somewhere soon", and carefully brake to avoid an accident, thinking nothing more.

Our choice to respond or react has PROFOUND impact on how we perceive future events. If we were able to respond to an unexpected occasion, the event is here and gone. If we were reactionary, however, our body chemically codes and encapsulates the event, cleverly storing it away for future use. When we then physically have an event in a particular area, say a knee sprain, and there are chemical memories stored there, we relive the feelings of the previous event, even though that event wasn't PRESENTLY occurring. Yikes. Stress upon stress.

This would explain, however, something I had been quietly experiencing in workouts. "Mornings with Syd" cover the gamut: we run/jog/walk, practice interval training, slowly move through Pilates and yoga, do a few XP90 moves, grab weights, use our body mass, or do traditional things like jumping jacks. We also work on balance.

I have a hard time with balance because I have chronically injured my right ankle. Everything on my left side has had to work like a dream to compensate for the less-than-capable right side. While we were (successfully) practicing "tree" in yoga moves, one-legged stork-stands essentially, I would feel very emotional. It was brief but significant each time. Each time that ankle DIDN'T fail me, it was emotional in the same way it was negatively emotional each time I had pain in the past. The stretching of my physical and psychological abilities was producing an event that was releasing that memory of failure and everything I had associated with in through the years.I have been having to choose my RESPONSE to this emotional moment in my workouts.

Reactions cater to the fight/flight sympathetic side. Responses cater to the relax, be well, parasympathetic side. Both are necessary, yet we often fail to "restore" in our hectic days. Often every unexpected, potentially negative event is met with a reaction: "jerk!", "the sky is falling!", "why me?!", etc.

We, have however, a very unique ability to turn a negative event into a non-event through "re-framing". Some people grow up in cultures of re-framing and it comes as second nature. Someone cuts them off in line, and they say, without a hint of sarcasm, "my you must be in a hurry, please go ahead of me." Another eats a whole box of Girl Scout cookies with ice cold milk and after remembering her fat gram goal for the day says, "I'll go for a walk now and do better tomorrow."

How does this fit with forgiveness? For me, a particular series of interpersonal events has really jaded my perception and willingness to do certain tasks. I am experiencing small chemical releases when I go to complete these tasks and the resulting negative reactions to it. I am tired of the same reaction, the negativity, and the lack of "moving beyond". My goal this month is to "re-frame" those events in order to make them both non-events and to let them go.

In the meanwhile, we were taught a very simple exercise to do when our yin and yang were falling out of balance, (also helpful for panic attacks, waking up, going to sleep, etc.), called 4-4-8.

Sit calmly in a chair. Slowly inhale through the nose to a count of four. Hold the breath to a count of four. Release the breath through the mouth to a count of 8. Repeat 4 times and then resume breathing normally for a bit. You can repeat frequently, just be sure to return to normal breathing. It resets your parasympathetic responses and gives your body a wonderful dose of oxygen.

While I'm breathing, I know I'll be re-framing and relaxing and looking forward to better days, no matter what lies in them.

Week 10, Part Two: Monkey See

2011-04-29T09:58:00.002-06:00

Perhaps the MOST critical part of decision-making while preparing and eating foods, happens long before we ever "think" about anything. Standing on a chair while mom, gramma or auntie made pies, bread, salad, cookies, or carved a turkey was a right of passage. I was absorbing techniques, measurements, and most importantly, ingredient quantities. This had not occurred to me until I was preparing my first holiday meal, solo.

On all other festive family occasions, I would be a part of the process. Perhaps I assembled the relish tray, or warmed the rolls, brought a Greek salad, or cooked a hunk of meat. For this Easter meal, however, it was all mine: meat, potatoes, relish, and punch, coffee and cake.

Being mindful of my new lifestyle choices, I selected a lean ham. I made veggies without dip, omitted crackers and salami, and made punch without sugary soda (juice and soda water worked perfectly!). I mentally divided up every one's plates: half veggies, one quarter starch, one quarter protein. I put unsalted butter on the table (I noticed people use less when it's unsalted). I put a glass of water at everyone's place. I added a few family traditions, one being banana salad and one being the egg hunt,(eat and then get moving!), but an hour before we sat down, I sat looking at my meal-to-be.

As I stood over a steaming pot of potatoes in the mixer, I thought about how the women in all of my families had made mashed potatoes. I had WATCHED them add a full stick of salted butter, salt and pepper, and milk to fluff. I loved these potatoes. These are the potatoes I longed to make, to eat. Yet, as my children were watching me make food, (they're always watching, no?), I knew I wanted to start a new tradition. I wanted delicious potatoes, fluffy, and creamy, but I did not want to clog anyone's arteries. I wanted to give them good things, including a healthy life.

I put the butter back in the fridge and grabbed light sour cream, salt and pepper.In one swift movement, delicious potatoes emerged from the bowl into the serving dish with white gravy with skim milk, on the side.

The day was full of delicacies which I wanted everyone to delight in: deviled eggs, chocolate cream pie, new wine, lemon curd cake, French roasted coffee, the company of one another, and a beautiful day to hunt eggs. Omitting butter from the potatoes was insignificant to everyone but me...I had changed the course of my family in one small, but significant move. I have to admit, it was a quiet, emotional moment.

It has caused me no small amount of thought about what I learned about food growing up. What have I been, if even subconsciously, been communicating to my family that was taught to me? What can I change? What will I keep? What are the goals in the preparation and eating of homemade food?

Week 10: I Ride the Fences

2011-04-26T15:24:00.002-06:00

I have made note, during this program, of when one is losing such a small bit of mass....1/2 to 1 pound per week, it is difficult to measure. I have no Jenny Craig moments of "I lost 36 pounds in 6 weeks and it was FANTASTIC!". I wear the same sized jeans, albeit there does seem to be a bit more wiggle room in them. I'm still cooking for a family, including desserts.And I'm still working out, in a group twice a week and on my own. I walk, I bike, I park far away from the grocery store doors and wonder...is any of this working?

This past weekend, my husband and I had the rare treat of a whole day together. We decided to give the horses their first spring grooming and training as our "date". Easter Sunday was a spectacular day full of sunshine, warmth, and believe it or not, not a breath of wind.

The horses were frisky, but as we brushed and gave treats, they seemed to realize training day was on. As a novice rider, I am still clumsy, yet competent at putting on the halter, getting the bits in mouths, and blanketing and saddling up. With everything checked and water in the saddle bags, we mounted up.

It was a great moment in my body. My great white horse (who claims NO draft horse, but must stand 16 hands and husky) is no easy mount. My stirrup hits me in the belly when I stand next to him, and I am not accustomed to my heel being up near my belly in the standing position.

Nevertheless, solo, I put my toe in and lifted myself into the saddle in one swift, tottering movement. I was elated! Turns out, more than just decreasing body mass, I have been increasing muscle mass, stamina, and flexibility. THOSE are things I can use for a lifetime!

Week 9: Two for One Special

2011-04-21T16:09:00.003-06:00

As we were reviewing our "food cues" in class this week, people offered up their personal triggers for spontaneous eating: commercials on TV, eating while watching TV, aromas (movie house popcorn anyone?), eating what's close (counters, refrigerators, drawers), habits like eating while driving or cooking, or shopping while hungry.

The last and I mean LAST cue that people listed was "hungry". I eat because I'm hungry. Such is the life of the comfortable American consumer.

How do we counteract the multiple "food messages" in our day? How do we eat when we're hungry and not because we're bored, anxious, need to stretch, need a drink, or need comfort?

As we learned, a lot of it is self-determination; setting yourself and your family up for success is a big part of achieving healthy eating habits. Don't bring home junk food. Substitute fresh fruits and veggies (prep when you get home for easy grabbing)for easy to grab chips, crackers and cookies. If you have snack favorites, put them in cupboards, so the visual cues are absent. Substitute whenever possible. Count and measure the portions.

As for me, I love cheese and crackers. Cheese and anything(crackers, fruit, pasta, meat, wine...) really just floats my boat. Usually I would have a slab of Tillamook (extra sharp), cut to size with a handful or two of wheat thins. Now, since learning about the importance of portion control, I have laughing cow wedges with low-fat wheat thins (I can measure both with ease while prepping dinner). I get a much needed snack after work, give my body some nutrition, and avoid binging, or as I call it, "plowing".

Other things that can minimize "mindless eating" include: eat at the table, with the TV OFF, and sitting down. Eat a meal before going to the movies so that you're not hungry (therefore more able to make good decisions about what should touch the lips). Share or split high-fat food items. Pack snacks with you. Drink plenty of water (in the US, many people substitute food for hydration).

For me, I've learned that if I keep two apples in my purse or backpack, I have a satisfying snack anytime I have an attack. This is a significant change for me. I often do not have predictable breaks or lunch hours. Being able to "wait" until the assigned meal time made me prone to scarfing anything in reach when I hit the kitchen door. Chips, cheese, milk, yesterday's pancakes...you name it. By having apples near me, which are both sweet and crunchy, I find, that even if I must consume them both before lunch, or dinner (I do repack if necessary), I have saved myself between 200-400 of the calories I would have otherwise consumed (and all of the fat) from easy to find and eat candy-bars (Snickers is my favorite!). As I write at 4.30 in the afternoon, I am munching an apple and drinking coffee. I should probably grab some water.

I also keep apples and oranges on my table at home (as opposed to the crisper in the refrigerator), within sight of everyone. Of note, it is the kids who have taken the most advantage of this easy access point.

The two for one special? What I found intriguing was that, as I was reading about ways to save money on my grocery bill this week, the advice was similar to how to avoid unhealthy eating habits: when shopping make a plan, write a list, eat a meal, and stick to the list.

So, dear reader, in this week of festivities and feasting, think of your wallet as well as your waist as you choose your foods wisely. Bon Appetite and Bon Chance!

Week 8: A Little Goes A Long Way

2011-04-12T11:16:00.002-06:00

When you drop between a half of a pound and a pound per week, the victory dances are slow to come. It's not much to notice...maybe the jeans are not so snug in certain places, or the rolls aren't as jolly in the mid-section, but for me, it's been difficult to "see" results.

Mind you, I am on track for that 1/2 to 1 pound per week decrease in body mass, but I'm noticing other changes. For example, because I have found other things to top my toast with, when I do choose butter, it is a DELICIOUS treat. When I choose to bring healthy snacks such as apples, low-fat crackers and cheese or yogurt, or chopped veggies to eat between meals, I am not STARVED come meal time. Additionally, I find that my will power to make healthy meal choices is more intact. These are big things for me because I tend to be a hungry eater, no matter the occasion.

Today, however, I got to have a happy dance as I did my daily morning weigh-in. I weigh on a doctor's-style scale with the pound slide on top and the incremental slide just beneath it. Usually I'm finding the pound slide mark to record my daily mass...tap tap this way, tap tap that way to find the balance. Today, my taps weren't balancing and I realized it was time to move the increment slide, DOWN.

An increment was significant and that made me smile.

Week 7: A Struggle for Perspective

2011-04-08T10:07:00.002-06:00

Now that journaling my eating habits and increasing my daily activity levels have become a larger part of my consciousness and day, I find my self pondering the larger perspective...

A beloved member of the community has passed away; a teenager fights to gain movement in her body; legislators wrestle over the debt of the future; freedom fighters march day and night; blood pours along streets; and thousands are displaced all over the world. Here in Montana, I'm worried about which variety of delicacy will touch my lips and how often my feet hit the floor. Good grief! I live in wealth, comfort, and protection. My troubles are very, very small.

Fittingly, the lesson this week was on balance. Which side of the balance beam my priorities lie and how I can tip them by choice. More than food or movement, there's sleep and hydration, reducing stress, increasing quality relationships, decreasing "lists" and "musts"...being still.

How fitting too, that we are in the Christian season of Lent...of pondering how many things we have gathered that burden our hearts: unforgiveness, bitterness, envy, resentment, debt, poor attitudes, lack of graciousness, violence, disrespect, carelessness, negligence, malice, gossip, ill-speech, (most of it due to lack of self control.) I am guilty of all, if only in thought. And as it turns out, The Good Book won't let me off the hook with just thoughts, either, for "as a woman thinketh, so is she."

In this season, I look forward to lightening my load...in so many, many ways.

Week 6: We Like to Move It, Move It!

2011-03-31T09:42:00.004-06:00

The number one indicator of staving off long term disease is movement every day. Brisk walking for 30 minutes each day is enough to accomplish that feat. What is brisk walking? Walking at a pace, or biking at a pace, or swimming at a pace that requires you to take in more air between words in a sentence, can be sufficient. (Cycling should require you to complete 100 revolutions of peddling per minute in order to be at an "active" state.)

Test yourself as you head out for the activity of choice. Say hello to the neighbors, "How are you today, Mr. Kastakakis?". As you pick up speed, the greeting should go more like this, "How are-----you today----Mr. ----Kata---kakis?"

Don't have 30 minutes? How about 20 minutes while rice cooks? 10 minutes while waiting for the shower? Have little ones? Bring them with you...wagons, strollers, bikes all make it easier for them to keep up and bonus: you're teaching them a great lifestyle skill!

As you warm your body, pause to stretch and breathe, probably no more than 5 minutes. When you are ready to finish, take another 5 minutes to stretch and breathe. Listen to your body. If it hurts, stop. If you suddenly have chest pain or nausea, sit or lie down for a few minutes and see if it subsides. Resume activity gently. If chest pain or nausea continues, call the doctor. Symptoms may or may not be serious (remember, you checked with your doctor already to establish an OKAY to begin lifestyle changes).

Work yourself into a regime. Look at it this way: you show up for the dentist, work, class, and church; parent-teacher conferences,weddings, funerals, bar-mitzvahs, and baptisms. Use this time to show up for yourself. Make it a date.

How am I accomplishing this? I am using the first 10-20 minutes of my day (and I'm not either an early riser or a morning person by design)to walk or bike to a place where I can weigh myself. I don't pause for coffee, shower, or makeup check. I just go (scary for those who may meet me, I know). Any pause for me is just a window to provide an escape, so out of bed and out the door I go.

Say you don't want to weigh each day, maybe instead of paper delivery, you pick it up at another locale.... maybe you just want to see the horizon each day, to watch the sun break over it...maybe there's wildlife that's just waiting to be seen in a quiet moment....who knows?

Find something that makes the "appointment with self" interesting and worth showing up for...for me, I have a requirement for now, but after reading A Sand County Almanac, I may shift my focus to a daily observation point. I'll keep you posted.

For this week, make it your goal to be ACTIVE for 30 minutes total. Next week be ACTIVE for 60 minutes total. And work yourself up to 150 minutes of ACTIVE movement.

Got achy joints? I'll share this tip from one of my senior cohorts: use walking sticks. She says she's got a new lease on life since she started using them. She used to be afraid to walk because of the pain she would feel in her knees and ankles. Since using walking sticks, she's had no pain and more enjoyment of movement than ever before.

I look forward to hearing what's working for you.

Week 5: Wanna Make Some Changes?

2011-03-16T17:24:00.003-06:00

Thank you, dear readers, for your input on this journey of lifestyle change. It was brought to my attention that some of you may want to begin making small changes in your own lives, but have lacked the baseline from which I have been making my changes.

I re-read through my manual and found a few quick starting points. Of course, if you are not sure of your health status, be sure to consult with your health care provider to make sure your body can absorb changes such as reduced caloric and fat intake or more movement and increased heart rate.

Here are a few of the assumptions that I make in utilizing the tools of this program:

1)I am motivated to make changes that will have LONG TERM impact. There are no crash diets, funky foods, binging and purging, or endless workouts. I prepare and eat the same foods that I feed my family and friends. I eat 3 regular meals and if I remember, 2 snacks and drink water.

2)I am motivated to see my OVERALL trend in body mass DECREASE. I do weigh myself each day, but I do not have panic-attacks over pounds gained or lost in 24 hours or even in a week.

3)I share my successes and challenges openly so that I and others may learn how to better guide our future choices. Everyone knows something!

4) My goal is to be a healthy, active person for as many years as I have to live.

Now for the nitty gritty:

My baseline consumption of fat grams is based on a researched method to reduce body mass by 7% in 10 months (roughly consuming only 25% of calories in fat). While I am not utilizing a calorie goal at this point, for those who do, I will include that information.

Here are those guidelines.If you weigh :
Below 170 pounds, 33 grams, 1200 calories,
175-215, 42 grams, 1500 calories,
220-245, 50 grams,1800 calories,
250 and above, 55 grams, 2000 calories.

Using these guidelines, a person is expected to lose .5-1 pound per week. If it doesn't happen, don't fret. Increased activity may be the key to helping your body lose excess energy. We have not crossed that bridge yet in our classes, but a general 30 minutes of brisk walking or similar activity is recommended 5 times per week.

Additionally, try to stay as close to the recommended level of fat grams as possible as your body needs fat to function properly. If you binge one day, don't exclude the next, just stay close to the goal, each day.

Stay positive and remember that change is difficult in adult years. Give yourself credit for making adjustments and just measure and choose more carefully the next day.

On a final note, not every food item comes with a label, especially if prepared at home. Remember to use portion control and here are a couple of places to put in recipes for nutritional analysis:

http://www.mypyramid.gov/tools.html

http://ww2.dietitians.ca/public/content/eat_well_live_well/english/recipeanalyzer/recipeanalyzer.asp.

Priatna Apetita!

Week 4: There and Back Again

2011-03-15T14:31:00.003-06:00

Just as I got my routine down, my water intake up, and my pantry properly stocked, viola--time to travel. If ever there were a lifestyle-change threat, it is this: leaving the zone which has been designed to enhance the chances of success.

In leaving home, I had to travel 4.5 hours. I left my walking routine, my scale, my precious gallons of 0% milk, and mostly, just control over when and what I ate. Almost.

A first line of defense was put into place with a cooler: sparkling water, fruit, low-fat munchables were stored in the car to ward off low-blood sugar attacks. Thankfully, we were traveling through larger towns and so at the fast-food stores, all the menu items had nutrition information. I could stay on track and have a satisfying meal. A small sandwich and chips and a drink and and I didn't fall off the wagon.

We were traveling for a basketball tournament and that meant two things: staying with friends and sitting for long periods of time. Uncertainty and fear of failure loomed over my head. What will we eat? How will I move around?

What I didn't realize is that new locations can provide a variation on a theme, or in other words, all was not lost. Far from it, in fact. One of the marvelous advantages I had not calculated was that our lodging was within walking distance of the games. Each day, sometimes four times per day, we'd be walking for 20 minutes in the fresh air. Water and fruit were easily carried in a purse and the concession stands had some acceptable choices if we were stuck over a meal-time.

Our hosts provided sumptuous eats and with my handy pocket guide, I could eat well with portion control. If I wanted to splurge on a specialty pizza, I limited myself to a slice and added salad and a beverage; I was satisfied and didn't feel as if I was on a "diet". I even had desert! (Am I sounding like a Weight Watchers commercial or what?)

What I am learning and sharing with others is that even the smallest changes such as measuring portions or changing cheese varieties can give the body what it needs without having excess to store. Moreover, it gives me tools that I can use my whole life, not just to complete "week x".

Sure, there was the return trip where, when dining with my in-laws, that I buttered my roll and added full fat sour cream to my potato...these habits are hard to break. In recording them, however, I see where fat adds up and where it doesn't.

Next time, I'll probably go for salsa and skip the butter. It's all a process.

Week 3: Small Successes, Big Rewards!

2011-03-09T14:29:00.002-07:00

I managed to drag myself from my warm bed every day this week. This is no small feat as I am a night owl, not a morning glory.

For example, the first 30 minutes of each day started like this:
I slipped on my winter boots, parka, scarf, gloves, hat and grabbed the dog. Off we trudged through snow and cold (always around zero)up the street and into the recreation complex. I shed the boots, parka, scarf, gloves and hat and jumped (or rather carefully stepped), onto the scale. After grabbing a drink of water, I re-robe with the boots, parka, scarf, gloves, and hat and unchain the dog and walk a bit faster on the way home (I think it's slightly down hill). Back at home, now well-heated, I unwrap my scarf, take off my gloves,throw my hat, shrug the parka and kick of my boots, slumping into a chair, holding my first cup of coffee.

Daily weighing is one challenge, starting early and walking about is another. I didn't think I was making any progress as the rec room scale didn't seem to budge. Today, however, when I stepped onto the "official digital", three pounds had vanished from last week's number. I smiled.

Turns out, small changes like recording my food and limiting my fat intake, drinking more fluids, and walking each morning reduced the energy stored in my body. For me this is intellectually rewarding, but my body doesn't feel differently.

The big rewards for me is in how positive the response has been with my peers and family. If I pass on an item, no body makes a fuss. If I substitute an ingredient, hunger is still satiated. And my husband, bless his heart, if I absolutely must abstain from a killer-fat item, says, "if my wife can do it, so can I."

Week Two: Counting Everything

2011-03-05T11:29:00.003-07:00

Paraphrasing the former U.S. Surgeon General, Everett Coop, "the single greatest thing we can do to improve the quality of our lives is to regulate what we eat; more than activity, health care, socio-economic status or location."

Thus, Week 2 has begun, not only journaling every item consumed, but also weighing myself daily and ensuring that not more than 55 grams of fat are eaten. 55? The number was assigned to me (everyone has their own number) according to the goals I need to meet for this program. That seems monsterous! Or it DID, until I started recording my items.

What I began to notice (handy reference guide in hand), is that aside from fresh fruits and vegetables, easy-access foods have fat. The count can seem benign until an actual serving is measured out. Suddenly even my 1% milk (4 servings per day) looks like it needs to be on the chopping block! (Thank goodness for protein-enriched skim milk, but I could do without the artificial color! Good grief.)

Standard snacks for me had been: baked or regular potato and corn chips,cheese sticks, hot chocolate, crackers, and nuts with the occassional baked good, if they were fresh. A baked good or serving of nuts could be HALF of my allowance! At that rate, it would be rice and veggies for the rest of the day!

I thought that I had been a proactive consumer with label-reading, but never recorded items to see how they were adding up. When one has an allocation, however, the label-reading can be daunting and challenging. Would I like to eat my alloted grams at breakfast, lunch, dinner, 2 snacks, or dessert? And, how do I continue to get good fiber in whole-grain foods items when they seem to have a lot of fat (albeit healthy fats) to make them palatable? How do I plan for food that is prepared for me or when I am traveling? How do I sort through advertised "healthy option foods" that offer low sugar but 17 grams of fat?

Then, a new revelation. After a quick trip to the store to stock lower-fat items, the sticker-shock hits. "Healthy" option prepared foods can be 3x or more EXPENSIVE than their counter parts. How do I continue to be budget-savvy, cook at home, feed a growing family AND meet my goals?

There were a couple of bright spots, however, in this week of challenges. Firstly, I don't own a scale, so I walk to a community rec room each morning to complete my weight-tracking. It gives me wake-up time to myself, the dog gets a walk,and I get my 30 minutes of activity in before it's required. Secondly, York peppermint patties are my new friend! With a measly 2.5 grams of fat per bar, I can enjoy some chocolate with my coffee and still have room for an actual meal :-).

Week 1: The Meet and Greet

2011-02-23T14:42:00.002-07:00

You would have thought that I had walked into happy hour as I rushed into the hospital foyer. People laughing, talking, weighing in, getting blood pressure cuffs off of their winter layers, coats lying on chairs and others filing into the meeting room.

I can't remember a lifestyle-change class ever being so chipper.I took it as the first positive sign of the next four weeks, four months and eventually 10 month program. Nothing drastic and everything positive was happening here: slow, consistent changes, thoughtful planning, and mindful living. A wide spectrum of participants: male, female, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70 somethings sitting side by side, and participating in the class discussion kept it lively.

As part of a larger national effort, this program has had a 58% decrease in Type 2 Diabetes on-set in the participants. Additionally the lifestyle choices that affect diabetes also affect cardiovascular health. Turns out, small changes over long periods of time tend to produce better results than big changes in a short period of time. There's lots of coaching, options to participate, and mostly, help getting up and staying on track.

I think for me, the most positive aspect is that in a small community, most of us know and care for each other to varying degrees. When someone falls ill or dies, the impact is felt widely. Conversely, with this proactive program of health, when many of us (46 to date!)are making small changes, our lifestyles will rub off on others and we can gather together to enjoy our vitality rather than funeral sandwiches.

Homework this week: journal our eating habits.

Stay tuned!

Adventures in Rural Health Care: The Assessment

2011-02-15T15:13:00.004-07:00

I was fortunate to be raised in a rural Montana community that had a full-service hospital, but my family was more holistically minded. Colds received liquids and sleep, nausea prompted cups of sarsaparilla tea, and unless something was broken or gaping, all wounds were managed at home. Vaporizers, no sugar-based foods, and lots of play time OUTSIDE were the norms at home. My mother raised two boys and three girls in this fashion and we were rarely sick save for the mandatory two weeks out for chicken pox.

I wish I could have continued this approach in my grown-up life. I have since set up household in that hometown community with my husband and our part-time kids. Thanks to health insurance, I visit my provider for routine check-ups, but little else. Sugar, ever absent in my childhood, is readily used for baked goods and coffee and hidden in so many innocent things like crackers. Outdoor play has been replaced by committee meetings, anaerobic and often sedentary work activity, and housekeeping.

At thirty-something, I began to look at overall quality of life as well as my desire to bear children. I got some blood work and measurements to begin a baseline evaluation. "Sure", I thought, "I'm a little out of shape and a bit overweight, but probably not at risk for anything serious." Turns out I'm more than NOT IN SHAPE, I exhibit risk factors for diabetes and cardiovascular disease. Heavy sigh.

The good news is that I'm not alone. Many rural women are in the same boat. The even better news is that some sharp providers in our community have received a year-long grant to assist individuals, men and women, in reducing our risk factors for the above-named diseases. They will do this through assessing our current conditions and then helping us change pieces of our lifestyle through exercise, education, and coaching.

I'll learn later this week whether I've made it "in" to the group. I hope so.

It's a new commitment and I'm sure we'll learn a lot and be challenged in new ways, but it's a good challenge with implications for a healthier, more productive life. I'm excited and nervous, but I'd like to share the journey and the things I learn.

Will you join me?

For more information on the unique challenges of rural women, read here:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447114/

November to Remember: Thankfulness, In Spite of It All

2010-11-24T16:17:00.006-07:00

History in the United States shows some gruesome detail. In summary, a lot of new-comers slaughtered existing inhabitants AND WERE THANKFUL.

In all fairness to WORLD history, this is generally how it has been done. Being threatened with survival (think in broad terms on this one), persecuted, starved, enslaved, or overtaken, one group heads for another spot to squat. (My personal ancestors, for example, were persecuted for some 700 years, so they eventually with the help of modern transportation, left for another locale. Those who stayed were killed, starved, taxed to pieces, or raped almost out of existence, but not quite.)

It's a paradox often repeated on the planet. Distain the life you are subjected to, leave for another spot and subject others to you. I do not personally condone this pattern, but I do understand how it happens in every generation. If each of us were to carefully trace our roots, somebody in our tree has promoted or protected their interests and it wasn't for free. This can happen on many levels, a physical, emotional, mental or spiritual death are equal killers. Terrible, nay, unimaginable things have happened to many people over many years; they are still occuring today all over the world, even as I write.

After World War II, a motto arose that said, "Never Again." World genocide watch groups, socio-economic promotion coalitions, and even school handbooks say, "NEVER". Yet, time and again and with the supervision of many onlookers, newly minted victims can be tallied daily. Why?

The nanny/parent in me looks around and says, "use your words." In a world so saturated with media, we fail to communicate the essential parts of ourselves that reveal dark motive. "I'm scared. I'm insecure. I'm threatened by you. I'm hungry. I'm oppressed. I am in pain. I need more than I have." More importanly spoken words would be, "I have the ability to harm you, just like you have the ability to harm me."

History repeats itself because we neglect to identify, in ourselves those things which motivated our ancestors to harm others. "We" are not "them". "We" would never do such things. "They" were awful, terrible tyrrants. "We" are good, wholesome, holistic, attunded citizens.

I urge you. Take a look again. Do not lose heart when you do.

There is hope. Upon learning of the atrocities that did occur on the foundation of any nation or nation-state, however, grieving can occur.Whether we have experience or empathize with persecution, we can resonate with a number of less-than associations: loss, unfairness, inequality, racism, sexism, ethnic cleansing, powerlessness,and pain.

Grieving brings release. Release brings healing. Healing brings wholeness and the potential to start anew, right where we are. Let us, in this season, not only be truth-tellers, but healers; not only historians, but moral teachers; not only be victims, but over-comers.

Today, and in conclusion of this November to Remember, I am thankful that in our lives and in this time, if we choose it to be, another, less deadly path is possible.

November to Remember: Out of the Mouths of Babes

2010-11-22T17:10:00.003-07:00

It all started quite innocently in the living room. Sitting around the fire after a late lunch of soup and sandwich, we started playing "Twenty Questions". My mother introduced the idea and we played a few rounds until she told us we'd play for the most difficult answer of all time. We DID guess it, but it was very clever: hole.

Next up was the thirteen-year-old, who has discovered that it pays great dividends to be clever. We had deduced from the yes-no answers that his object was an animal. When my mother guessed through the dog, cat, people, horse, and chickens, she felt stumped and quipped, "is it the other horse?!" At which point my teenager yelled, "Yes!". We had a hysterical laugh over that one, beings that there WERE two horses in the round pen that day.

*****

My four-year-old nephew was visiting his Gramma's house on Saturday. Her husband had the intrastate football rivalry game on, so they had a small chat about the different colored uniforms and the object of the game. Gramma tactfully stated that she liked one team, while my brother favored the other. After a bit, Grandmother asked which team my nephew liked. Without so much as a pause, he said, "I like the black and white ones," (the referees).

So much for building brand loyalty on that day!
*****

Today I am thankful that the mouths of babes can tell us what their eyes, ears, nose, and skin observes, that often, completely escapes me otherwise!

November to Remember: All My Children

2010-11-20T10:23:00.003-07:00

In my life, I have co-parented fourteen children. When I arrived in their homes, they were of the ages from infant to fourteen. They came from the east and the the north and places in between. Some had impeccable manners others had imaginations most adults couldn't cultivate with any amount of practice or education.

They came from parents with education, work ethic, power, creativity, ingenuity, and a broad world view. The homes in which we played were modest or extravagant and held large gatherings or none at all.

These children have been (and continue to be) my teachers. They taught me about the importance of snuggling and snacking; making a huge mess and not caring; timing and "showing up". They broke me into the rigors of menu planning, daily laundry,chicken pox and potty training. They invited me into their secret hiding spots, showed me their treasures, and offered their hearts. Often they taught me about quick response time; I have lightning reflexes when it comes to falling objects and small people.

They reminded me that I could read all the parenting books on the shelf and still not "get it". I was helpless to protect them from a bad day at school, insecurities, or an ear infection. I could however, provide a warm, safe place for them to recover from such disasters, even if such a place was my lap.

Now I am a "step" closer. I have three beautiful, bright, and loving teenagers in my life. They eat the food I prepare (mostly), pick up their socks, answer my calls and texts, and gently remind me of their family traditions.

Today, I am thankful for all of the children whom brought me into their hearts. I know they will always be in mine.

November to Remember: Early Riser

2010-11-19T10:09:00.002-07:00

If you took a poll to see whom in my family would be the first to rise in the morning, I would come in dead last.

I have nothing against the wee hours. When I AM up before dawn, I enjoy the peace, fresh air, the transition from dark to light, the snow geese migrating or the elk bugling. I think that the sight, sound, and aroma of freshly brewing coffee is one of life's greatest pleasures. Hugging sleepy, bed-head kids as they stumble out of their rooms is gentle and loving. I can even crack a smile and speak sweetly.

I do prefer, however, the long, uninterrupted, nocturne. Deep in warm blankets, soft pillows and a firm, but not too firm bed I lie, almost as if in infancy. I have vivid dreams and complete relaxation, comfort and rest.

The winter morning does arrive and I am called, against my will-to-sleep, to the obligations of work and home. I must crawl out of my cocoon and step on the cold floor, put on glasses and layers of clothing only to discover...someone has made a fire and coffee awaits me in my mug.

Today I am thankful that I married my sleep-opposite and that it is his pure delight to rise and prepare the morning environment. My transition has been made easier by not having to answer to either an annoying alarm clock or cold house.

November to Remember: Community Events

2010-11-18T10:58:00.002-07:00

The fresh, sweet scent of pine boughs washed over me as I pulled open the door to the parish hall. Down below, a golden light shone on the steps. As I descended into the mass of children, grandparents, singletons, youth and marrieds, I saw lots of fingers being licked clean of icing. Women at one table tied knots in a fleece for a community blanket drive. Men stood watch over the hammers and staples, glue guns, and catching the occasional toddler with yet ANOTHER cookie.

The community advent wreath-making event is a special time of year. Since advent falls just after Thanksgiving, St. Joseph's wanted to be sure homes were set up and ready to roll with their candles and pine boughs BEFORE the bedlam of the winter holiday season. I love this time of helping hold candles, eating sugar cookies,and visiting with people I rarely see otherwise. Everyone is happy, save for the sugar- cookie-raiding toddler who was intercepted by a doting dad.

In a world SO divided by economics, geography, political ideology, and even religious doctrine, on this night, we gather together to ready for two things. As Nordic descendants, we follow the practice of our ancestors in marking the time until the sun returns, candles lit in order from being darker in color to lighter. We remember their long-suffering in the cold, dark north (and are SO glad they chose to migrate west and south to the 49th parallel). As Christians, we adapt this practice to anticipate the celebration of the birth of the Messiah at Christmas (which falls, curiously enough, very near the winter solstice--purely symbolic, I assure you).

On this night, we share our wealth, a location, faith that the sun will return, and forget how we voted. We hold one another's children, prepare gifts for the less fortunate, volunteer our time to set up or tear down, bake, or harvest boughs. We move in patterns that would indicate we share one big house as a family.

Today I am thankful that I live in a population that still practices being a community.

November to Remember: Citizenship Acts

2010-11-17T15:48:00.002-07:00

Over large cups of hot chocolate stacked with whipped cream, I sat huddled (only because it's 10 degrees outside) with my American Legion Auxiliary members for our monthly meeting.

We reviewed the past months' activities. Recently we had decorated and attended the Legion Veteran's Day dinner, helped raise money for the community building, and gave donations to state organizations to help veterans in rural and urban areas. We maintained and checked out hospital equipment to those recovering from surgeries,and planned Christmas gifts to veteran's widows whom are shut in this winter. As we look to the future, we will award a high school scholarship for Outstanding Senior Girl and plan to send several young women to the Montana Girls State program in Helena, our state capitol, this next summer. We're most excited about connecting with Girls State alumni in the new year.

Today I am thankful that there are women (and men in the American Legion) who recognize the importance of being an active citizen in a democracy. I am thankful that they give up their lunch hours, 4th of July BBQs and warm living rooms to meet, raise money for community and youth events, and serve veterans and their families. They put out and pick up grave markers, sell poppies, and replace flags; send sympathy and get well cards and encourage people to participate in elections.

My grandfather served in the Pacific in WWII and our family has always emphasized public participation. Democracy in practice is far from perfect,in fact it's down right messy most days.It's the ONLY form of government, however, that gives its citizens the most OPPORTUNITY to participate.

Our service, should we choose to engage, doesn't often cost us our lives or limbs, state of mind or marriages. It MAY cost us some time, a few headaches, a few dollars, some consideration, or even a gesture of shaking some one's hand. These large and small acts of gratitude, our service and actions, honor all the blood that was shed in hopes of a better future for every generation.

November to Remember: Comforts of Heat

2010-11-16T10:17:00.004-07:00

Sixty to one hundred-mile an hour winds are bearing down on the east slope of the Rocky Mountains today. They promise rain, snow, sleet and all of it sticking and freezing. Horse corral panels (100 pounds) are lifting and gliding on a nearby ranch.I can feel where I need to glaze the windows in my 100-year old house. I can see the dog finally has wised up to using his house and the chickens and cat are nowhere to be seen. I can smell fresh air and moisture nearby.

Sure the house is chilly at 58 degress, but I'll be gone for the day. I dash for my towel as I leave the steamy shower, but in five minutes my hair is dried and under a beanie for the day (read into this, it is TIME for a haircut). Slippers separate me from cold floors, and layers of clothing separate my body heat from cool air that wishes to whisk it away.

Today I am thankful for natural resource exploration and development.Natural gas heats my house when I am away, warms my shower water and cooks my breakfast of sizzling bacon and eggs and whole grain pancakes. It also bakes cinnamon rolls for me to pack into my husband's provisions. I have electricity to wash and dry my clothes, read, and to see to do my tasks on dark winter mornings. Chopped wood will keep me cozy and in good company as I drink my hot chocolate tonite before bed. Fuel runs my car and heats my legs on the way to work.

It is a good time to be alive and warm in the north country.

November to Remember: My birthday

2010-11-15T10:35:00.004-07:00

Today is my birthday. As of 7.35pm tonite, I will have been breathing a mix of essential gasses for thirty-six years, give or take the brief fainting spell in second grade.

It's been a tremendous year of events. I kept a day job, dropped a night job. Mother got married, I moved out. My steady date asked me to marry him, I moved in after my honeymoon. I had co-parented fourteen children, now I am a parent, if only in steps. I had an apartment, now I have a mortgage. I had no animals, now I have seven chickens (two in retirement), a dog, a cat, and three horses and all the accompanying tack, feed,shavings and delicious, fresh eggs that accompany such ventures.

I could have NEVER predicted how different my life has become in a short year. I am incredibly happy, content on most days, and head over heals in love with my family.

Today I am thankful that sometimes life gives us GOOD surprises.

November to Remember: Mixed Blessings

2010-11-13T10:11:00.002-07:00

I have a nephew with a narcotic addiction. He's 15 and has struggled since he was about 10. He is a frequent user and is tested at school four times per week and in counseling, youth court, and at the doctor more days than not. One may think that perhaps his physical circumstances have been challenging, but in fact, he's had every available "hierarchy of needs" resource, in spades.

His is a condition, in my estimation, is in fact one of a very broken heart. You see, his mother died of prescription drug overdose when he was just a toddler. He has been in the care of his doting grandparents since. It's no substitution for a mom, however dysfunctional. The pain seems so deep he's unable to detect it, except in random outbursts of rage and breaking things. Including his grandparents' heart.

In this month, I am thankful for this opportunity to be part of a family that rallies on his behalf. I am thankful for places that support healing and recovery, sobriety and wholeness.

I am thankful that I am learning to be open to how and to whom and when healing occurs. My nephew's addiction is an indicator of something systemic in the family, so I'm anticipating holistic change. I am thankful for Jehovah Rophi, "God heals."

November to Remember: Friends We Haven't Met

2010-11-10T09:29:00.003-07:00

There is a sign at an old coffee shop across the mountains that reads, "There are no strangers here, only friends we haven't met." My mother and I had a rare dinner out last night and experienced this adage.

Married life keeps us happily occupied, but there's nothing quite as pleasurable as a leisurely girl-chat evening, complete with chocolate cake. While we were finishing our last morsels, a couple had come in across the dining room. My mother and they had been exchanging puzzling glances for a few moments. Not being shy, my mother finally says, rather loudly, "do you know me?!"

After a few, "where are you from, do you have family here?" questions, they made a connection. As is turned out, the lovely couple was from Alberta, Canada, and the husband had bumped into my mother in a fast food joint in Helena, MT last year. They had only a few pleasant exchanges then and nothing since. At the time, my mother had met their five lovely little girls, all cheery and well-behaved and under the age of ten (these traits often capture my mother's attention). The couple was in my small town on a "marriage retreat" for a few days, spending quality time apart from their little ones whom were busy with cousins.

What ensued was the joining of our tables. As we drank coffee, they ate their dinner. We had the most amazing conversations on life, family, values, schooling, love languages and faith. We all left the table with light and life, having spent an evening making friends and connections. It almost felt as if we had known each other for many years prior, so rich was the tone of our exchange.

I am thankful for opportunities to move outside of what we know to WHO we could know. As my mother says, "It never hurts to say hello!"

Indeed.

November to Remember: Recreation

2010-11-08T13:22:00.002-07:00

It was a weekend of all things outside of the house. Friday night was a road trip for a junior high basketball game. Saturday was a road trip for a football playoff game with stops at a hot springs and dinner with the college student. Sunday was a time of study and fellowship, raking leaves, collecting eggs, baking and cooking,and laundry, all while the men hunted and worked.

My grandparents did not have this many options on their weekends, and I know my parents rarely did. I am thankful to have a life that allows me options either to relax or not, to associate or abstain, to prepare for the week ahead or let the week arrive at its own pace.

In a world where many toil day and night, run for cover or have to immigrate, keep watch at night or rise early to haul water for miles,scrounge for shelter amidst rubble, water, and turned over cities, I realize that leisure IS a luxury not a right. I am thankful for the days where I do have options on how to spend my time and that most of them are actually quite enjoyable!

November to Remember: The Paradox of Choice

2010-11-05T14:49:00.002-06:00

The United States is the envy of the world because of the number of options we have to choose from on a given day. Think about the aisles of any market you enter and the sheer variety of: toilet paper, chewing gum, cleaners, boxed cereal, pasta forms, fresh goods, freezers, t-shirts, pencils, towels, screwdrivers and beach towels. For those of us who have been raised in this country, we often look up and down and STILL can't find something that suits us. For those of us born in developing nations, we look up and down the aisle spending hours choosing, or walk away; the task is too daunting.

Even if I could find the product I wanted, would it be the right price? If it was the right price, would I need to check for a list of substances recently discovered to cause illness, deformity, or poor water quality? If it met those criteria, am I certain that the shop across town doesn't have a better price? My criteria continue to grow and argue with one another. I'm running out of time and just need a shampoo that will clean my hair, refresh my emotional well-being,take care of the environments and equal exchange farmers and give me rockstar confidence.

I make my selection, but on the way home, I wonder, was that the right thing to do? Should I just lather up with a bar of soap and send my extra income to UNICEF? Such is the LUXURY of being a citizen with expendable income in the United States. Yet, increasingly research shows that myself and others are less content, less satisfied, and less happy even as more and more options (how ever beneficial or negligible) are presented to us.

As it turns out, someone has studied this. In his book, "The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less", Barry Schwartz tests human satisfaction with making a choice between few or many options. The science shows that the more we have to choose from, the less content we are with the choice we make. Additionally, we begin to NOT make choices, rather abandoning the process, when it seems too daunting to sort it all out. Great discontent and unhappiness follows quickly behind it all.

It's an informative read, especially for citizens of a pro-consumer culture, but I took away a simple discipline for any choice I need to make. Given any array of options, I give myself three and choose one. Despite how it feels to be in a downturn economy, if I have a roof, some food, some heat, some clothes, some CLEAN water or heck, just 3 out of 5, I have more than most of the world has on a daily basis. If I counted my spare change jar, I have a week's wages of most developing countries' families. Why lose sanity over whether to buy Starbuck's, Seattle's Best, Dunkin' Donuts or Eight O'Clock in whole, espresso grind, drip grind, or percolator grind, roasted to the best French, breakfast, or tropical morning standards? It's absurd. I choose cheaply and leave quickly.

Today I am thankful for the abundance that my life in this time and place offers AND that I am encouraged to discipline myself to be content in all circumstances.

November to Remember: If you want patience, just ask for it!

2010-11-04T16:35:00.003-06:00

A black cloud has lingered over most of my afternoon. Perhaps it's low blood sugar, a late lunch, not enough sleep, too much caffeine, too much heat (it is 70 today!) or just a general funk. In my dark fog, I remember how my elders warned me about asking, in my prayers, for patience. They warned me that then and only then, I'd surely be tried. Never a truer word has been spoken, especially as I work on a heart of gratitude this month.

I tried all the self-help I could muster. I walked in the sunshine, devoured a hearty lunch, drank some water, stayed out of the direct sun and took a few deep breaths. Surprise! No difference. None what so ever.

Today, I'm thankful for mercy; for people willing to bear my sour mood, clients willing to overlook my curtness, my mother doing some household repairs and errands, and a husband fixing my lunch. Even the chickens continue to come when I call them and deliver delicious eggs!

I'm thankful that for today, grace bears me until tomorrow starts afresh.

November to Remember: A change of heart

2010-11-03T12:25:00.002-06:00

While I sat aloofly typing away my thankfulness on the first day of blogging on the topic, I began to have quiet thoughts to myself. The night previous, I had a spat with my beloved and was still smarting from not seemingly have won. (I know, he's on my team, this is not a competition; this part of life is NEW to me!)I was still in a funk.

How was I going to tell my precious husband about my new fabulous blog idea (however borrowed), when my heart and feelings were not at all feeling particularly grateful? How was I going to lead the developing questions around the family dining table, when I was being short and succinct with my own thoughts?

It was then that I remembered something about an activity that often changes my heart. I find that after a particularly wonderful stay with friends, dinner with family, or receiving thoughtful gifts, I really enjoy writing thank you notes. I have noticed that once the stamp and address are in place, the pen flowing with ink starts to gush my sentiments towards the giver, casting a glow on them and in an act of reciprocity, somehow causes a glow within me: appreciation, thankfulness, abundance.

So, meanwhile back at the homeplace, I gave myself an assignment: write a month of thank-you's to my husband. It might help my own recovery and actually dampen the effect of a spat, perhaps even ward off future spats. I didn't know, but I did know that I wanted to be in a better mood by the time my truest got out of the mountains and arrived at the threshold (I'm having to practice maturity, I'll admit).

Lo and behold if I didn't discover, as I made a little flip calendar out of spiral notecards and fall stickers, that it was our one month anniversary. We had made it 30days! Instantly I was in a better mood, smiling that I had an occassion to open a bottle of wine for dinner. In that more pleasant state, I found 30 things that I'm very thankful my husband possesses from communication skills to an ethical code; from a strong faith to great kisses. Indeed, by the time I finished the project, I was happy inside and anxious to see him arrive.

It takes discipline, sometimes, to take myself from one place to another emotionally, but it's important, especially if I'm to be a good role model for the children. This is a good lesson and practice and one I'm thankful for today.

A November to Remember All for Which I'm Thankful

2010-11-02T09:43:00.003-06:00

This exercise began with a frustration. Do you ever realize how difficult it is to NOT end a sentence with a preposition? For example, even just coming up with the title for today's post required me to rack my brain to write something differently than I speak. How often do we hear, "What are you thankful FOR?" Ugh. My English teacher would have circled the preposition in red pencil, with gusto.

This month's blog idea was not mine. With many thanks to a former college classmate and the beauty of social media, the idea seemed appropriate: give thanks each day until Thanksgiving.I"ll start giving thanks for two things, given that I've started on November 2, Election Day.

One, I'm thankful to live in a country with free elections. I am free to think about matters which concern my life, my livelihood, my family, and my community. I am free to exercise my opinion on these matters and to be free from harassment, physical punishment, vandalism, torture, or the death of myself or those I love.

I am not, however, free from the consequences of my opinion or the direct, legal actions associated with it. Others may disagree and as a result,ostracize, spread untrue information about me or stop doing business with me. Others may agree with me and form stronger allegiances as a result. Yet there are some whom may remain complacent or unnaturally fearful. This is the bitter sweetness of a free society; we are free to choose our response.

Two, I am thankful for social media. In a world where circumstances may render us hopeless or helpless, there is a way to rally and rally around others. Electronic media and the networks it provides, help us to manage the minute of our lives that can so easily overwhelm, excite or anger us. By just "talking about it", we often can provide that moment of release or reprieve. We can share each other's joys, sadness, frustration, or commiserate about the "loud talker" in cubicle three or where to find work. We also see each other's roughness: the vices and unkindnesses we so dutifully guard face to face are too often revealed in our words.

I have begun my path to Thanksgiving. I encourage you, amidst your trying circumstances and busy life, to begin yours.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

2010-10-12T11:19:00.002-06:00

A more spectacular day could not have been created for us. Surrounded by a loyal army of friends and family, the wedding celebrations went off without a hitch--save for the bride arriving twenty minutes late!

Under autumn blue skies amidst ash and cottonwood color, the church bells rang. Piece by piece the marriage platform was assembled, so beautifully formed from hand-hewn wood. Person by person they placed their significance and their love beneath our feet, a firm foundation.

As we stood and gave our vows, our families gave their blessing. As we joined our hands and exchanged our rings, the pastor gave us a reminder of our commitment to be more than for ourselves or for each other. The ink yet wet on our license, we joined as husband and wife.

Eating freshly roasted meats and tasting all the potluck dishes brought by revelers reminded us we are provided far and above what we need or ask for...in our relationships, physical comforts, family, and friends. We danced, we laughed, we visited, and the children played in the creek. What a joyous occasion to both have and eat our cake!

Amidst a shower of birdseed, nay a dump, we scurried off to our quiet first night retreat for a stroll, a drink, a picnic and finally, sweet sleep.

Day 8--Out of the Closet

2010-09-25T10:52:00.002-06:00

The plans of mice and brides are soon scuttled by arachnids. Isn't that how the adage goes?

My chef d'jour was recently bitten by a spider ON his recent ankle incision. So much for being sure-footed. While he continues to procure the meat and spices, a new team of cooks has stepped up to the plate. Namely, the grill-meisters will be from my fiance's office: the captain and sargent of Region 4. How fortunate can a girl get?!

In other news...while I am in no way inferring that any of my family resemble spiders or their mythological attributes, I do find it a bit intriguing that 12 days before the wedding I am apprised of a family expectation: I must have an escort down the aisle.

For years now, I have always believed that I would not have an escort on my wedding day. On the practical side, my father has been gone for nearly 30 years, no grandfathers exist, and I am not close to any of uncles, many of whom have married off their own daughters. On the "wedding traditions through the ages" side, I am not a piece of property being exchanged between two men. I have spoken for and supported myself since I was 18.I didn't plan on changing that because I got an ivory dress.

What might surprise the dear reader is that in fact, this notice was given by women. I was surprised. It was these very women that gave me models of independence, exercising potential, and earning a living. So what is a bride to do?

On the one hand, it's my decision. I have the full support of my fiance, my pastor and many people who know me. I am who I am. On the other hand, it's a mere 60 seconds of my life in the middle of a ceremony. Is it worth ruffling feathers if it means something dear to someone else?

Readers,I await your response.

Day 18--Gift Registration and Other American Traditions

2010-09-15T10:03:00.002-06:00

Apparently, I had committed the cardinal sin on the wedding circuit: I had only registered for gifts at ONE location. Upon discovering this, my employer promptly gave me the afternoon off and I was to head directly to the local shops to pick out more things. Only in America, as they say.

I have mixed feelings about the bridal registry. On one hand, registries serve as a guide for gift givers who would like to give the happy couple something that they'll use and cherish. I am a person who loves to give gifts. I like to know a person's hobbies, favorite colors and foods. I like to give something personal. I enjoy having information on the receiver's preferences. I like to be able to use a gift registry as a guide. "If they selected these items in fuchsia, then I'll select something complimentary and unexpected," goes the happy conversation in my head.

On the other hand, it seems gluttonous and commercial, and in small towns, political, (i.e., where I didn't register might offend someone). I live in a culture that loves to consume. We have registries for birthdays, babies, and splitting the sheets. At this stage in my life, I am in a severe "thinning" process, keeping essential home items and mementos. I want to prioritize people over things. My fiance and I both work and have two growing boys at home that have lots of activities--I wont' have much time for dusting! A registry feels both as if I am wanting to accumulate things and that I'm imposing a choice on the buyer.

Additionally, I am not one that enjoys the imposition that each event puts on attendees: gift for the shower, bachelorette party, and wedding; shun the thought of a house warming. I am one who loves the time with people, the wisdom and wit they share and the day to day journeys that we'll see each other through. What are things, really? As a dear friend reminded me when I was distraught over a treasured item being destroyed, "things can be replaced, people cannot."

Concluding my trip down Main Avenue, I realized that some things we do for ourselves and some we do for others. It's good family practice and in a small town, the family is large. I did go and register at multiple locations: at a boutique, a hardware store, a lumber yard, and an antique store. Hosting a wedding, I began to understand, fuels my small town economy. My wedding spends money on food,venues, flowers, cake, beverages, and clothing. My guests spend money on accommodations, fuel, food, and gifts. The store keepers spend money on advertising the registry. The media makes money on the advertisements and announcements.'Round the money goes.

What I know about local dollars spent is this: a dollar spent in my rural community will be recycled SIX times throughout the town. Forgive my cerebral tendencies, but that's an economic process I can support.

Day 23--The Compatability Test Part Deaux

2010-09-10T08:52:00.002-06:00

One gentleman, a client here at the feed store, offered me some advice after hearing of my engagement. Married over 50 years, I carefully tuned into what he had to say. "You'll hear people say that marriage is 50/50," he said with a pause, "but it's really 90/10." He continued, "You'll have to give more than you ever thought, but you'll do it. Don't worry about giving too much. You can never give too much."

I was a bit startled, I have to admit. Being independent for 18 years, I was well-versed in clear boundaries. You can give too much. You can get exhausted and under appreciated. You can give in vain. You can become codependent. My list of objections was long and bulleted.

Session three of our marriage counseling helped me understand the gentleman's comment. In this session, we covered emotional health, conflict resolution, problem solving, and expectations. Our opposite-ness was clearly exposed, the stuff of blockbuster romantic comedies,really. My intended, always the optimist, just shrugged and said, "no problem, we can do this." I must have looked despairing as tears welled up in my eyes."How will we ever do this?", I murmured.

Light and perspective, ever the counselor's gift, helped me take things in balance. We will take turns giving 90%. I'm better in crowded public spaces, he's a better conversationalist at a dinner for four. He likes things organized; I like them clean. He can pack us on horseback for a week in the wilderness, I can write about it. He is an amazing father and mentor, taking time to sharpen knives, practice bow-hunting, fishing for endless hours, and snuggling each day. I make sure the laundry and homework are done.

The 90/10 ratio works when we do our best in our strengths and then try to come along side one another in their strengths. The 10 of a possible 100 is not a lack of participation, it's a learning curve. That, I can do!

Day 24--Now for the fittings!

2010-09-09T10:06:00.002-06:00

I was a bit mortified when, at the request of the attractive, elderly salesclerk, my fiance try on the shirt for fit. Not embarrassed at the request, but at his insistence in derobing right where he stood. Off came his work shirt to reveal...a long sleeved t-shirt.

The dress-shirt in question wasn't quite the right color, so as the clerk handed him the next selection, whoosh, off came the long sleeved t-shirt to reveal...a t-shirt. Meanwhile, I found myself pointing to the dressing rooms, and fussing in high tones, "but honey". Oh, but I was not the loudest voice in the room as the clerk, cooed, "some go bare-chested, it's no big deal". I politely made my way to the opposite side of the room, dissociating myself with my stripping fiance until he had made his selection. I grabbed his elbow, almost tugging as the clerk tried to offer winter wardrobe selections. "We'll be back!," I promised.

Next came my wide-eyed experience as I hauled my wedding gown into the seamstress. As the doting Asian lady shooshed Rod out the door with commands of, "You can't see her! You wait OUTSIDE!", I zipped into my beautiful, craigslist find, thankful that there are mothers everywhere helping me make my way down the aisle.

It fit in most places. The shoulders and chest area didn't quite make everything smooth though, and she fussed about me, pinching fabric here and there, trying to figure out the best place to take it in. She turned me around and looked firmly at my chest. "You need a better bra." Faster than I could process, she grabbed my boobs and squeezed them more to the center, "you need them to look like this!"

I agreed immediately. Who's going to argue with a woman who's clearly been in the business longer than I've been alive (and has some of my valuables firmly in her hands as she gives commands)? So, it's off to the lingerie shop I go!

Day 26--In Grandmother's Cupboard

2010-09-07T10:28:00.002-06:00

As I pulled all of the dry goods out of the cupboard at my house-to-be, I expected that I would find a few stray crackers, an insect or two and general kitchen grease. No insects were to be found however, something most unexpected was discovered during the cleaning process.

As I pulled back layers of contact paper, wafting from the shelves and drawers were memories of my grandmother. Aromas of old powdered sugar donuts, dusty flour, and stale coffee were hiding beneath the paper I peeled up. The more I peeled, the more my mind floated back to the white house in Livingston, cigarette smoke deep in the walls, half-sucked-on Lifesaver mints sitting on the corner of the coffee table and my grandmother on the corner of the sofa, applying her lipstick.

Grandmother taught me many things: how to wrap a present, dust a plant, dice vegetables for maximum flavor, make a bottle of Pepsi go twice as far, and to recycle my aluminum foil. She taught me about inexpensive recreation called pulling the weeds, cultivating asparagus, fermenting the plums, mowing the lawn, making chocolate sauce from scratch and having burger deluxes at the county fair.

She reminded me that acting in considerate and thoughtful ways was more important than going to church or calling oneself a Christian. Beautiful penmanship, conserving water, a tidy yard, getting grease out of my work clothes, voting, and eating lutefisk once a year were all considered virtuous acts.

How I wish she were here to celebrate with us, but, in the midst of setting up my own household, it was lovely to pay her a visit in my memory.Which reminds me... I need to dust the plants.

Day 29--The Compatability Test Part 1

2010-09-03T16:04:00.005-06:00

"It's not a test", she reassured us, "it's to provide talking points, exploration," as we put down our heads and filled in ovals for the next hour. One hundred and fifty questions later, and with the wedding date on the horizon, we wondered, "Are we compatible?"

Outside the church, we wiped our sweaty palms on our jeans as she waved us off into the night. "What did you say about money?", he asked hesitantly. "Well, what did you say about how many date nights we'll have?", I shot back. Clearly this was NOT the time for review.

We sat down a week later and began to look over the results under "her and his" responses.Part one of the test review went simply, going over backgrounds and relationships past and present,fairly vanilla and unintrusive. Part two of the review didn't apply as neither of us had been widowed (and I not even married yet once!).

Tricky is what I called part three. It all began a bit innocently. All of our answers lined up, military fashion. It was sort of laughable, as if we had cheated by looking at one another's paper. Then our counselor asked questions that weren't on the test, the "between the lines" kind of questions...ones that could feel like an ambush if one had not had enough sleep and too much caffeine (which I had, on both accounts).

I became a bit emotional and he looked at me quizzically as if to say, "do I know this woman?" Fortunately, as all good advisors do, she walked us through the points of tension and left us with homework. She encouraged us to keep talking and that marriage would always be a process, not a finished project.

What crystallized for me is that I am female and he is male. I have been independent for 18 years, he's had a family life for most of his years. I am protective over individual attention from him. He's protective over time with his kids. I have set working hours. He's on call 24/7. These priorities and needs are often at odds and could appear to have no middle ground.

Here's the good news: we're good listeners and learners; we've got a good work ethic and a great sense of adventure. We have a lot of people who love us and support our marriage. Our goal is to have matured through some of these "strike points" more next year than this, and more the year after than the one before.

I have great hope and excitement for that personal growth AND a few boxes of tissue for the days that feel less than hopeful or exciting.

Day 30--An evening with Mom

2010-09-02T11:47:00.002-06:00

A salmon Caesar salad with a bowl of curried zucchini soup began our long evening of dinner and addressing invitations. Funny how when you live in the same town, you never seem to see each other except for scheduled events.Dinner out was a chance to catch up and also refresh ourselves for the task ahead.

My mother, like her mother before her, encouraged hand-written notes. Vacations, thank you notes, birthdays, and funerals were all occasions to take time to write something personal. Using our best penmanship (yes, even winning ribbons at the state fair for this trait), we have written many personalized greetings. With daft measures, we properly affix our stamps, equidistant from both edges of the envelope, and drop them in the post.

For the wedding invitations, it only seemed appropriate to have her join in the compilation and sending of the notes.

We drank French-roasted coffee, ate melt-in-your mouth French truffles and talked about our loved ones as each note was folded, inserted, and addressed. With fondness, we noted those who had passed on, those who had moved on, and those who were, despite our best attempts, missing from the address book.

Talking through the names brought up both good and sad memories. Addressing the envelopes brought joy and expectation of who would be at the wedding to share in the joy.

We stacked the last of the invites in a box and I drove her home at a little past eleven. I realized then that I was experiencing a fading trend in American life. I am living and working and now marrying in my home town. I am equal parts excited and anxious!

Day 31--The Dress!

2010-09-01T15:12:00.002-06:00

I am so relieved to not have to check the craigslist postings in all the Montana cities! Don't get me wrong, it is through this no-cost service that I located my wedding dress. It is also how I landed an outstanding cruiser bicycle. Looking through every wedding post three times a week, however, was stretching my attention span on the web.

The good news is that it needs to be taken IN! The better news is that it cost $100! The best news is that I got to spend the rest of the day with my sister, hopping from one little store and boutique to another, shopping for a necklace, earrings, makeup, lingerie, and shoes. Four out of five were accomplished AND I got to have a mango gelatto (sp?) to boot!

Day 36--Invitations, Small Town Style

2010-08-27T12:50:00.003-06:00

We have a tradition in my rural community that sets us apart, even from neighbors in the eastern part of the state. When a family is hosting an event, be it an anniversary celebration, baby shower, or wedding, an invitation is posted in the local paper.

The wording is just like a formal invitation with a note at the bottom, "no local invitations sent". It is an open invite to the entire community to join in the festivities.

We have this traditions for two reasons. One, when you make your life in a small town, it is imperative that you maintain as many positive relationships as possible. The social and economic implications of doing otherwise could cost you dearly. Since everyone is related to everyone, even slighting someone by proxy is bad karma. Two, most of the financial resources of the event should be spent on everyone who comes. Food, music and beverages are at the top of the list. Expensive invitations fall to a lower priority. It's only good hosting.

That being said, my wedding invitations have arrived via the UPS man who has delivered all of the packages in town, for my ENTIRE life. I am not kidding. His years of driving matches my age.

The beautiful paper, envelopes, and response cards are lovely things because they were designed and water-colored by my dear friend in Boston (while she was in labor with her second child, no less!). They were derived from local images here on the Rocky Mountain Front and have all the personal touches only a friend could impart.

While many preparations have been made in the past month, it feels like now, the wedding season has begun!

Day 37--News from the Square Foot Garden

2010-08-26T16:00:00.002-06:00

Three hail storms, two near-tornadoes, late rain, and now 98 degrees in the shade later, the square foot gardens are filling our mouths with a few treats and tantalizing us with what is yet to come.

In the potato bucket, technically not a square foot, but pie times 12", squared, the four chunks of Montana seed potato blossomed into a bush of beautiful leaves and blossoms. They were mounded 5 times, but amidst an unscheduled watering system, have begun to falter while the tubers are yet 3 ". I have hope, but it just might be to the stew pot for that harvest.

In the 2 x 2, the potatoes took over the radishes, carrots, beets, and lettuce. They grew beautifully and profusely so as to squelch everything else. My lesson for next year is to contain them in their square. So far, their tubers are also about 3" with no signs of faltering. This I credit to the 10" of "Mels Mix" helping with root development and water retention.

In the 3 x 3 the news has been a bit slapdash. With a mere seven inches of soil compressed to about four, the wind has challenged the plants to put down roots and develop stems. It has been a losing battle via the "SFG" method which encourages limited planting and thinning and a better battle by planting more densely. The corn has struggled to get over three feet high, while the stuff in flower boxes is over six. The ornamental Thai peppers and oregano, by nature have faired well and are blooming gloriously. We've nibbled several bowls of mesculan mix salad, a few radishes, and seasoned the pasta with oregano. The dahlia, while full, has yet to bloom.

The hail storms were violent and unexpected, so I did use some Miracle Grow to give everything a boost, once I cleaned up all the broken branches and lost blossoms.

Mixed reviews all around, but I remain hopeful.

Day 38--A Pause

2010-08-25T16:50:00.002-06:00

Memorialized my friend, Sheila Christensen, gone too soon from us.

We'll miss your love and cooking.

39 Days to Go--Let the scheduling begin!

2010-08-24T14:05:00.004-06:00

After nearly 18 years of autonomous reign over my schedule, priorities, and leisure time activities, I now find myself at the dining room table, pouring over schedules, of which only ONE is mine.

For the over 18 (with whom I will not share residence)the schedule requires college orientation and transport, holidays, breaks, interspersed with a football game, cell phone updates, and care packages.

For the two handsome young men that will occasionally share a roof with me, I have(thus far) football and 4-H, school breaks, plays, programs, and open-houses, hunting, scouting, hunting, fishing, hiking and camping and some of the laundry that goes with all the adventuring. That does not include time for cooking meals together (we make a mean breakfast sandwich in under 10 minutes with fresh eggs),stirring up campfires, playing badminton, or swinging from trees (and afterward bandaging everyone up, unless they're "too cool" for all the fuss).

For the gentleman with whom I will soon share a life and home, I have the consideration of: the opening of archery, waterfowl, upland game, antelope and general and back country rifle seasons, trapping, water safety checks, and the occasional damage hunt. Interspersed with scheduled activities are the calls for backup, testifying in court, sick or dead animals obstructing roads, bears in trash cans, bears in the grain, and bears, in general, just making appearances.

Joint activities may include hosting dinners,attending church or bible study, yard work, animal care, hiking, riding, visiting family,consolidating and sorting belongings (so we can fit in one house!) holidays, weddings and funerals, and the occasional date night.

With all of that penciled in, it looks like I have just enough time for a bubble bath between work and marriage counseling on Thursday. Bonus!

Feed Store Girl Gets Engaged: 40 days until the big day

2010-08-23T11:57:00.003-06:00

It's bound to happen sooner or later at a feed store: a cowboy swoops in on his horse and carries the help off. That's the twitter version.

Join the count down to the hitchin' in the days ahead. Every good event starts with some pencil and paper scenarios, so let's set the stage with a few numbers:

Time in courtship: 2.25 years
Children joining the union: 3 (2 boys, 12 & 16 and a young woman now off at college!)
Animals joining the union: 3 horses, 1 cat, 1 dog, 7 chickens
Hour of the nuptials: 11
Date of the event: 10.2.10
Miles driven to meet respective families: 876
Blood tests: 1 (why do they care about rubella in an age of vaccinations?)
Attendants: 2 for her, 1 for him
Invitations sent locally: 0 (invite in the paper suffices here).
Layers on the bridal cake: 3
Additional cakes: 2
Birthday cakes: 1
Expected number of guests (200-300)
BBQ grillers: 2 (brothers no less!)
Decorators: 3
Bar attendant: 1
Gift table attendant: 1
Cake cutters: 2
Name taggers: 2.5
Number of arguments over chicken feed: 1

Coming of Age in a Small Town

2010-07-13T08:16:00.003-06:00

Memorial Day around here is something akin to the Black Friday after Thanksgiving. It marks the the last 30 days of preparation before Independence Day weekend. Surrounding communities kick off their celebrations in succeeding weekends: Conrad Whoop Up, Augusta Rodeo, Dutton Fun Day, Fairfield Swim Day, and Dupuyer Grizzly Day. In rural communities such as Choteau, you have but one festival a year to "make hay"; ours is the Fourth of July.

Boxers train for months for the Smoker while organizers hit up fight sponsorships, organize the ring (set up in a rodeo arena), chairs, stands, tickets, advertising, ring girls, announcers, security and medical.

Jaycees put up flags, take down flags, and organize advertising, set up music and food for Fling on Spring Creek. Soroptomists put together games and family friendly booths and reconfigure the creek rocks to maximize the water flow (shhh,don't tell Fish and Game!). Duck races are serious things here and the race heats must be competitive!

Chamber of Commerce organizes the parade route, lineup, judges,grand marshals, and theme. Others skewer steaks on pitchforks and make mounds of friend potatoes. Good souls pick up and pack up. Volunteer firefighters referee, and award prizes for the much-contested Keg Hockey tournament. When they're done there, they'll provide shoulders and security for the smoker. When they're done there, they'll set up and set off the community fireworks. And, in the midst of all of the above, they hold down day jobs and respond as EMTs and scene security.

Booster Club sells fireworks for a week. Bright Eyes rescue and rehab center holds bakes sales. 4-H kids, fresh off of county fair, sell concessions, compete in the rodeo, hock goods for their cause.

The Lions Club Swimming Pool (the oldest civic group-run pool in Montana) overflows with squeals and splashing, hoping that next year, we can break the ground for a new one. Farmers look wistfully over tall, but wet hay. Ranchers move their cattle to higher pasture. Outfitters shuttle happy guests between the mountain camps and town.

Class reunions set up at the country club, the hotels, and even on the feed store dock! Grizzly Marathon gets runners registered, ran, and awarded for the Run for Freedom.DJs spin tunes while bartenders try to keep an eye on the doubling crowds, and all the reserve officers in the county are on for 72 hours.

It's busy and bustling with unrelenting lists and guests, and supplies, and calls...each needing their own attention. Entrepreneurs on every corner cook, outfit, or hand water to weary participants.

Over at the rodeo grounds, American Legion, Sons of the American Legion and Legion Auxiliary members, along with a crew of volunteers, scrub the concessions stands, paint numbers on the grand stand, turn over the arena, pick up trash, put in fence, make new corrals, and turn the dirt once more.

Businesses and non profits, families, and sporting groups are checking to make sure they have enough staffing, facilities, food, and transportation. Politicians make campaign signs, pack candy, and shake hands.

And now, at 35, I fall into their ranks...working the feed store by day, meeting deliveries late at night, painting numbers on grand stand seats, trouble-shooting at the museum, selling fireworks, cooking brunch, scrubbing the house, mowing the lawn, getting laundry done for the next week...visiting with guests, hugging on my family, and remembering the veterans and our current troops.

It's a wonderful, invigorating, and exhausting process of becoming a full-fledged community member. It requires that I have more than one priority, remember that we have small economic windows here, and that all of this is possible, and much of it guaranteed, by the constitution of my country. And that if it were never for the Declaration of Independence, I may have never had the choice of where I lived, worked, schooled, volunteered or done none of the above.

And as the weekend winds down, Wylie and the Wild West yodeled to a park full of tired weekenders as they lick their fingers from bbq and await the grand fireworks disply.

I realize how happy I am in my little small town life, a member of the very proud,interdependent,intergenerational Fourth of July Celebration in Choteau, Montana. We're a little tired, but that's how we make the hay.

The Importance of Appreciation

2010-06-14T09:43:00.003-06:00

Friday last, we held Customer Appreciation Day and Golf Scramble. It was our first such event and we had so many unknowns: how much food, what kind of discounts, where to get the prizes, and who will come? Do people really have time to relax headed into summer?

Many of those questions were answered in spades. Prizes flooded in from our myriad of vendors who then also offered discounts for the retail side. Cooks put together a huge feast of meats, seasoned beans, salads, and brownies. And people? Twenty golfers and thirty eaters.

Smiles and laughter abounded, even in 50 mph wind with threatening rain clouds glaring from the Rocky Mountain front. By the end of the afternoon, winds had calmed and the sun was peeking through. The golfers lingered. Some talking with sales reps, the rest with each other. It was a good day to relax and tell stories before the busy summer season kicked in.

Stressed economic times often produce stressed people. Often,our social graces are the first thing to exit our toolbox and tensions build all around. Spending time appreciating the people who make my job, our jobs, possible was important because in the end, we're all in this together...making food and fiber for the world.

Jake's Chicken Spa

2010-05-12T08:59:00.003-06:00

Just east of Choteau, about twenty miles, lies the little town of Dutton. Once a booming wheat capital, now quietly survives as a pit stop, bedroom community, and long-time home to a few residents.

Tucked along a gravel road neighborhood is a home like many homes. Children dashing in and out, barbecue on the porch, and bicycles strewn about. Behind the yard gate, to the far end of the property lies Jake's Chicken Spa.

Dear hens "Chicken Noodle", "No Name" and others wait their turn to be held and stroked, returning the care with gentle clucks and coos. They lay fine brown eggs with tall, dark, yellow yolks. They each have bedding boxes or roosts and in the middle of the tidy coop is a water tank with the next five, learning how to socialize.

Chickens here lay eggs until the day they die. They are never butchered, although occasionally caught by a coon, dog, or curious cat. Should they stop laying, they are welcome to live out their days wandering about on lush, unkempt grass, tasty grasshoppers and earthworms. They will still be held and stroked, protected and kept warm in the harsh winters. After all, they're residents of the spa!

Anectodal Antibiotics---Be Careful!

2010-04-20T10:41:00.002-06:00

Today's hot topic: preventative antibiotic use in beef production. The article below, written by an educated person, is purely ANECDOTAL. Notice, that despite having huge amounts of research to access, he only quotes recommendations. He argues that antibiotic use in animals contributes to antibiotic resistance in humans,WITHOUT citing one iota of evidence. He doesn't show trials, or half-lives of compounds (the rate at which they break down), or cite cases where direct links were shown between human antibiotic resistance related to the dietary intake of certain food stuffs. (Similar anecdotal evidence is offered in other places about organic produce being better for you than other produce. In fact, research shows that just eating 9 fruits and vegetables a day is effective, no matter how the plants were treated.)

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/18/opinion/18kennedy.html

Mind you, I'm no cattle producer, but I associate with them on a daily basis. We talk production methods, medication, free-range, organic, natural, feed additives, and calving crop percentages. We look at data on mineral intake, protein levels in forages, and water quality. We talk about work loads and moisture, market prices, golf, and, GASP, the preventive use of antibiotics AND other organic compounds that help mediate things that lurk in moist soil such as coccidiosis and salmonella (bugs that wreck the gut and can kill calves, especially if spring weather turns ugly).

I was trained in the scientific method.I expect the same of any college graduate, especially anyone who claims a wide,influential audience. I expect references to white papers, data, and peer-reviewed citations. I do not expect the kind of language that is classified otherwise as "old wives tales" by a simple statement, "that's bad for you."

In yesterday's blog, I passed along research from a peer-reviewed journal, that showed how cattle are helping the atmosphere. Contrary to popular hysteria, the paper said, in effect, "please keep them grazing, we need them to regulate other harmful gases." I'm not pro-cattle per se, but rather, pro-let's-get-it-right.

So, for those of you, like me, who like to see the evidence, I dug up a white paper that talks about the trials and tests that allow preventative levels of antibiotics work SAFELY in cattle feedstuffs.

http://beeftechnologies.com/pdfs/avery_paper.pdf

Remember, we're still fortunate to be citizens of a country that has the largest and safest food supply on the planet. We not only feed ourselves, but the world.

Perhaps advocates of an antibiotic-free world should talk to their doctor about not hyper-dosing children who have ear-infections. Take the stance of being proactive with bacteria: use plain soap, eat more probiotic foods,play in the dirt, get rid of antibacterial soaps, lotions, and cleaning products and let the body build it's own fighting machine.

Cows Off the Hook--For Now

2010-04-19T11:42:00.003-06:00

As it goes in our society today, we can't make heads or tails of research. Do eat chocolate, don't drink coffee. Wait, don't eat TOO much chocolate, do have two cups of java a day. What is a soul to do?

After many years of "down with red meat, it's bad for you and the environment", here is the science to say that the four-leggeds have actually been helping us out all along. No need to tax the emissions from their rear ends. No need to tax their herdsmen. Indeed, perhaps a thank-you note is due. Better than that, share a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate with a rancher next time you see 'em.

Don't take my word for it, however, check it out here:

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v464/n7290/full/nature08931.html

Adieu Haiku (#100)

2010-04-16T08:56:00.002-06:00

The time has come now.
Closing chapter of practice.
Adieu my haiku!

Tax Day Haiku (#99)

2010-04-15T08:42:00.001-06:00

Tumbleweeds blow by,
Dust swirling down main street.
Life to those who file!

Spring Snow Storm (#98)

2010-04-14T09:20:00.001-06:00

Thick, white snowflakes fall.
Deep slush forbidding passage.
Rocky Mountain Spring!

War Stories from the Watering Hole

2010-04-13T10:59:00.003-06:00

Rainy days make for a full house at the round table. Favorite stories today, revolve around a particular watering hole in a nearby town.

One of our favorite story tellers relates the following:

"I spent a lot of time at Katy’s Wildlife Sanctuary when I was younger.The bartender,Katy, a crusty Calamity Jane sort,(a gunfight had occurred in her honor), had to reload the ice box with 5 gallon buckets throughout the day. The ice box was open for easy access of loading ice and refreshing drinks.

One day, as Katy went out back to grab the ice bucket, her cat walked down the bar, walked gingerly over to the ice box and promptly urinated.
From then on, I asked for bottled or canned beverages only."

He also witnessed her fine social graces by continuing...

"Katy was famous for making a point with as few words as possible. One day she was playing pool at a bar here in Choteau. She wasn't very tall so when she planted her hind end on the table to make a shot, both feet came off the floor. Intent on obeying the rules, her opponent yelled across the bar, 'Katy, you gotta have one foot on the ground!' With one swift movement of her hand, she unbuckled her prosthetic limb and threw it on the floor. 'Happy?!'"

Her wooden leg served her well in startling innocent travelers to her establishment. To keep the bar warm, she had a wood stove. One day, a blizzard had made it rather hard to bring in more wood. A patron, sympathizing with the misery of the day, looked at Katy, what are ya gonna do without wood?" Katy, never missing a beat, kicked her leg up on the table and slammed a hatched into it. "We're not out yet!"

National Monuments, Continued

2010-04-13T09:10:00.002-06:00

National memos really put the citizens of the proposed areas, on edge.

The following was a comment from a different part of the country.

"I live within the boundaries of the proposed Siskiyou Crest NM The local
fears are both palatable and hysterical. I received this email yesterday:

'Steve Fisher tells me that there will be a community meeting at the
Community Center this Wednesday at 6:00 p. m. on this subject.

I didn’t speak at Tuesday’s Board of Supervisors’ meeting because I
am far from understanding all that is involved in the creation and the
administration of national monuments. At the basic level I don’t
understand how such conduct by government can be tolerated in a democracy.

I could speak about how leaving an area alone diminishes the production
of forest products, water quality and quantity, wildlife habitat, plant and
animal diversity, aesthetics, recreation, and salmon populations, but
everyone in the room was well aware of this.

What I have recently read of recent of similar takings of public and
private resources for the environmental movement frightens me to the
extreme. In the recent past the Environmental Industry has taken over
millions of acres of the West in a manner that appears to me to be a blatant
violation of the very basic philosophy of democracy. Just the very lack of
logic in using the Antiquities Act for the environmentalists’ acquisition
of all this land is alarming, but I understand that such action has been
upheld numerous times in the federal court system.

Once the National Park Service takes control of the public lands
designated as a national monument their people start acting like criminal
street gangs. There is a concerted effort to remove all the private land in
and around the monument. This is a blatant effort, supported by your tax
money, to drive all human activity from the area. They not only rescind all
the grazing rights, but they remove all the water rights families have had
for generations. Most land management even on the private land is stopped
because it threatens the national monument.

The National Park Service has been able to rescind all contracts held by
private citizens prior to their acquisition of this land. No, I don’t
understand how this is legally possible. Should the Klamath Siskiyou
Wildland Center succeed in getting the president to sign a document creating
the Siskiyou Crest National Monument, I see all the grazing rights
terminated, all mining stopped, all land management and fire control
stopped, and very important in our area, all the co-op roads closed to use.
Can you imagine what will happen to the value of private land within the
monument once access is removed? This allows government to acquire private
land on the cheep!

From what they are saying in their email, the Klamath Siskiyou Wildland
Center feels that they are so righteous that they will tell the Department
of the Interior what to do on their national monument. They speak of
removing all the logging roads. Well, all the presently used roads were
constructed to access timber. Closing roads not only denies access by the
public, it also prevents prompt response by firefighters. This will insure
that there are no small fires. Despite what the Wildland Center says, these
fires do great harm to the environment. In the short term the amount of
surface erosion goes way up putting silt in the creek beds. This render it
impossible for salmon to spawn. Wildlife cover is greatly reduced to their
detriment. In the longer term, brush invades the site and reduces the
diversity that the environmentalists so cherish. The environmentalists say
that the conifer forest will return, but I suggest that they look at the
Haystack Fire of 1955. Water yield goes up after a fire, but water retention
is reduced significantly. All the water leaves during and shortly after the
rain storm. Water quality is obviously reduced by all the suspended silt
created by the erosion. Recreation: I don’t know of any group or
individuals that go partying in a burn.

This is all part of a world-wide program whereby urban cultures take over
rural cultures. In 1962 there were about 1,000 officially ‘protected’
areas worldwide. Today there are 108,000, with more being added daily. The
total area of land now under ‘conservation’ protection has doubled since
1990, when the World Parks Commission set a goal of 10 percent of the
planet’s surface. That goal has been exceeded as over 12 percent of all
land — a total area of 11.75 million square miles — is now under
‘conservation’ protection. That’s more than 7½ billion acres!

Contrary to what the environmentalists say, this is very detrimental to
the land and to the planet. We aren’t going to deter this program with only a resolution by our Board of Supervisors. But what we can do to thwart this deleterious
philosophy is far far beyond me.'"

Let's keep talking, folks!

Visit to Heart Butte (#97)

2010-04-13T09:07:00.002-06:00

Wrong turn, long field trip.
Bannack bread,salmon dishes.
Good to see dear friends.

Must Be Spring Haiku (#96)

2010-04-12T09:06:00.003-06:00

Birds singing brightly.
Snow, slush, and ice on my car.
Crocus peeking through.

Weatherbeater Fundraiser Haiku (#95)

2010-04-10T09:34:00.002-06:00

Steaks simmering low.
Tables, chairs, tickets are sold.
Bidders, give up cash!

Tears for Poland Haiku (#94)

2010-04-10T09:31:00.001-06:00

You have fought for right.
You remembered your battles.
We share in your loss.

First Bike Ride of Spring Haiku (#93)

2010-04-09T08:25:00.002-06:00

Unlocking the bike.
Straining pedals, wind in face.
Bliss on two wheels---wheee!

Burning Fields Haiku (#92)

2010-04-08T09:44:00.001-06:00

Release the old straw;
Kindling the lowly flames;
Nutrients anew!

Pretty Pedicure Haiku (#91)

2010-04-07T08:15:00.001-06:00

Clip, scrub, wash, soak, dry.
Paraffin dip. Glittering
Polish; dainty toes.

So Close and Yet So Far (#90)

2010-04-06T08:50:00.002-06:00

One hundred haiku.
Nearly to the end,the last.
Ten more to go now!

Hoot's 80th Birthday Haiku(#89)

2010-04-05T11:04:00.002-06:00

I asked Lyle the best
thing he did in his whole life.
Adopt and raise kids.

Sleep Begets Forgetfulness Haiku (#62)

2010-04-03T12:38:00.001-06:00

Need eight hours per night.
If sleep is not complete now,
Blackout memory.

Hiding My Own Easter Eggs Haiku(#64)

2010-04-03T12:36:00.002-06:00

Who moved the feed?
Oh, I moved the feed here.
Time for hide and seek?

Missed a Few Haiku (#75)

2010-04-03T12:33:00.001-06:00

Apparently I
Can not count or label my
Haiku correctly.

Hope After Winter Haiku (#88)

2010-04-03T12:14:00.002-06:00

Snow melting away.
Crocus peeking through the grass.
Seed potato time!

Morning Flight Haiku (#87)

2010-04-03T11:37:00.003-06:00

Graceful formation.
Wings spread wide, around they go.
Rats with wings: pigeons.

Too many papers Haiku(#86)

2010-04-02T11:02:00.001-06:00

Piling higher up!
Criss-crossed, un-filed, glaring.
To the cabinet!

Onions Galore Haiku (#85)

2010-04-01T10:49:00.001-06:00

Walla walla-yeah!
Red, yellow, white in a bag.
No tears for this girl!

New Chicken Farmer Haiku (#84)

2010-03-31T15:11:00.001-06:00

Wood shavings, feed bag,
Heat lamp, water, grit and go.
Cute little charges.

Grey Day After Wind (#83)

2010-03-30T09:44:00.002-06:00

Blowing off East Slope.
Howling down Teton Canyon.
Rain follows behind.

Grateful for Their Sacrifice (#82)

2010-03-30T09:42:00.001-06:00

Giving up their jobs.
Giving up family time.
Serving abroad now.

Dust Everywhere Haiku (#81)

2010-03-23T10:24:00.001-06:00

On the sills and doors.
In my nose and sneezing fast!
At least it's not mud!

Time to Pack Haiku (#80)

2010-03-23T10:23:00.002-06:00

Binders and folders.
Clothes, toiletries, phone charger.
Check. Keys and away!

Springtime in the Rockies Haiku (#79)

2010-03-23T10:20:00.002-06:00

Snow on the mountains.
Water in the creek. Springtime.
Migratory birds.

How I Crave Chocolate in the Morning (#78))

2010-03-23T10:19:00.001-06:00

Velvety smooth bite.
Almonds covered in dark, sweet.
Just a nibble, please?

Kefir Means Life (#77)

2010-03-23T10:18:00.001-06:00

Liquid yougurt-like.
Probiotics, smoothly roll.
Russian drink delight!

Coffee Tastes Bland (#76)

2010-03-23T10:16:00.003-06:00

First aroma, wow.
First taste, invigorating.
Third cup, blech! Toss it!

It Was A Very Good Year Haiku (#74)

2010-03-23T10:07:00.002-06:00

Sunshine and lollies.
Rain and plenty of white snow.
Green grass soon to burst.

Chicks are Growing Haiku (#73)

2010-03-23T10:04:00.001-06:00

Pin feathers, tail, wings.
Hopping, fluttering, flying.
Time for a new home!