What's In A Name?

I have been accustomed to being called and calling others by names different than those given to us at birth. I come from a large family, have a very common name, and also share a name with an infamous celebrity. So, if someone calls me something else, I tend not to be offended. The names I am called by are usually a derivation of my original name; "H", "HMac", "Heth", or anything rhyming with "weather" have been quite familiar.

Since arriving at the feed store, however, I am awash in OTHER people's nicknames. The reason for this being unusual is that the names resemble nothing close to the person's given name such as Jack being a John. Seemingly, the names carry the weight of an event or an attribute. In a given day, I might talk to Spice, Hollywood, Old Hide, Einstein, Harry, Hornet, Slick, Ponytail, ScrewUp, Genius, Smooth, Cahter, Bubba, Jake, Whipper, Swing Bag and other names I cannot repeat, even in the most impolite company.With the colorful cast of characters, one might assume we live in the middle of a sprawling metropolis, attend jazz clubs and smoke long cigarettes.

Being relatively new to the store, I thought I would soon decode which name belonged to whom. 15 months later, I am still at a loss most days as to whom the gossip swirls about now!